Judith, welcome to the forum! There seem to be many more caregivers here than patients. As a liver disease patient, I'd like to shed some light on a couple of things:
First of all, the wait time for a transplant depends a lot on where your transplant will be done. Mayo Clinic (Rochester, Minn., Phoenix, AZ, and Jacksonville FL) have the shortest wait times in the nation...a matter of weeks after all the preliminary testing has been done. If they require a certain length of sobriety prior to receiving a transplant, that could dely things.
As a chronic active hep C sufferer, cirrhosis patient, and liver cancer survivor, I can tell you with certainty that your husband's seeming indifference to doing anything is directly related to the enormous fatigue he feels. Anyone with liver disease has that fatigue. It's nothing that sleep can remedy. I once heard someone say that it is "like walking through molasses." That's the best and most accurate description I've ever come across. Therefore, it's a real chore just to shower, get dressed, and make medical appointments and do things you HAVE to do. That takes so much energy, there is none left over for the things we used to enjoy doing. Then, the inability to do those things, or to plan on activities, causes depression. Kind of a vicious cycle. And, of course, there are the other symptoms from the disease and perhaps side effects from medications or "procedures." I was on Paxil for quite awhile, but finally took myself off about 9 mos. ago. I didn't see that it was doing any good, and I had also gained weight while on it. Oh, and that's another thing--the bloat or ascites. Another reason not to want to go anywhere--looking so blown up and nothing fits right. I know that was a big concern to me, until I got on Lasix and Aldactone and lost the water weight.
I hadn't been anywhere at all for 3 years, beyond grocery shopping and doctors' appts. However, on April 14th I flew to NYC and stayed there 5 days. I felt alive there for the first time in years. I think I was just going on the adrenaline of excitement. Now that I'm home, I'm back to dragging around. It's now 5:30 PM and I'm still in my nightie, with a sink full of dirty dishes, garbage that needs to go out, ironing that needs to be done, and here I sit...feeling like I really want to go back to bed and sleep. I have to will myself to stay up and do what must be done, as I live alone.
I don't expect this info to make you feel any better, but perhaps you can understand a little more where your husband is "coming from."