Hi, Poly, and welcome to the forum! Guess what? I was a medical transcriptionist for 15 yrs., prior to retiring on SSD in '05. Having that terminology is a real ace in the hole, as you can understand the reports. Also, I made sure my doctors knew about my job, so they would use medical language and not simplifly everything. It made them a lot more open with me.
I'm a sober alcoholic (22 yrs.) and you're right...if your husband is intent on continuing to drink, there's nothing you can do. Personally, I would leave. I've done just that with 2 ex-husbands and a long-term b.f. (I won't go into the psychology of why I chose these partners.) However, I had been sober for 7 years when I was diagnosed with hep C, thank God. I developed liver cancer and cirrhosis. But I'm still here...because I don't drink, I eat a very healthful diet, and I do everything the doctors ask of me. I also have a positive attitude. Alcohol, as you no doubt know, is a depressant...so your husband may be thinking that he's going to die anyway, so he may as well drink, etc.
Everyone should have a Living Will, regardless of whether they are now sick. In addition, you really need to get him to sign a Medical Surrogacy so that you can get info and make decisions for him when he is having bouts of encephalopathy.
I agree with the others that it sounds as though he has an infection and it really needs to be treated before he becomes septic. My aunt just died of an infection. Also, the bleeding from the ears is not normal. When I had hugely swollen feet and calves, I had some "weeping," but it was light colored fluid and only in the edematous lower extremities. BTW, I'm 65.
If your husband continues to drink, anything that is done for him is really just a band-aid and is not going to do a lot of good. Like Dr. Phil, I "tell it like it is."
My heart does go out to you and your children.
"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Alice in Wonderland, Lewis Carroll