I feel awful, I've not posted in awhile but have been lurking. I wanted to update on my husband, Pink Grandma, Connie and so many of you helped me during my previous 'crisis' and were so wonderful then. A couple weeks ago my father-in-law got sick and went to the ER. He ended up being admitted with a possible heart attack. That was on a Wednesday. On March 2, he passed. The day after he was admitted, Jeff was admitted because his PCP found a blood clot in his hepatic vein. He went in that Thursday, the docs did an ultrasound that day and said there was no clot. So Friday, they scoped him to see how things were and banded six spots. They released him on Saturday (Feb. 28). He came home all dopey and slept all day and night, which I expected. Sunday, he pretty much did the same and I started to worry and tried to get him to go to the ER. He kept waking up and saying he was sick, his chest hurt, couldn't breathe, etc. When I said I was going to call the ambulance, he was like give me 2 minutes...later that evening, he took off his socks and I noticed his toenails were blue. His extremities were really cold and I didn't think he'd used the bathroom that much. Unfortunately, I was a little late to realize all this, as my daughter and I were busy finishing up moving out of the house we'd been renting. We are staying with my in-laws...well, mother in law. Finally, Jeff was okay with me calling the ambulance. By the time they got here, which was literally just a few minutes, he was cyanotic. They were not able to get a BP reading or a pulse. They put him on oxygen and took him to the hospital.
The next day, his father passed. Apparently he had CHF and his kidneys and liver had shut down. It's still a shock, as he was an extremely active 85-year-old man, went to the Y a couple times a week, golfed 2-3 times a week weather permitting, even did his own yard work. We had no indication at all he was that ill.
Jeff has progressively gotten worse. When he was admitted to the ICU on March 1, the ER doc talked to me and said that if there were any other children or family, to bring them in to say goodbye. He stared to rally a bit, but then got worse again. He's almost bled out several times since he was admitted, twice this week. All three of his doctors recommended calling in Hospice, which we have done, and let me know it was not going to reverse. At this point, Hospice is taking care of him in the hospital until a bed is open for him at the facility I have chosen near our home. If we had been able to find a place to rent before this happened, I would have brought him home if possible, but considering the bleeding and the fact that we are at his mom's, I cannot possibly ask her to watch her son die day in and day out in her home after having her husband pass so soon. I have involved her in the decision making process in all this and we have agreed on everything. We have made him a DNR, with no more procedures, etc, just comfort and care. This was a lot harder to do than I would have thought. Every time I make a decision, I call my little sister, the nurse and ask did I do the right thing? I love my sister so much, she is so great to me! Jeff is really confused, not eating, sleeping a lot and of course conversations don't always make sense. He asked me today where he was and he couldn't remember how to use a fork and would not let me feed him. So I went out and got him a Jamocha shake from Arby's. Screw nutrition, he could drink it and at least there are a few calories in it. Unfortunately, I have noticed he is having a hard time swallowing.
I know I haven't exactly put all this down in a clear, concise manner, but I wanted to share and I really appreciate y'all "listening". It's helped just to put it all down. I think I've left a few things out, but basically, we're at the end. I have to give kudos to the hospital, Memorial North Park of Chattanooga, the doctors that have treated him, both Memorial staff and Hospice, and everyone else involved in his care. This is the first time in the what, almost 4 years since he's been diagnosed, that the doctors took the time to talk to me and offer their support, etc. Not even his PCP bothered to let us know anything. Apparently he'd been diagnosed with PAD (by his PCP) a year or so ago, but he never bothered to tell Jeff at all.
Hope all is well and this year is a good one for all of you and your families.