worried girl thanks for the advice,like you my gran brought me up so i am so close to her. although my mum has not been out on the streets, she has been lucky to have had her own house bought and paid for, she is very comfortable with money. although it has gradually been going down because of her drinking taxi expenses. she also had did some horrible things to my gran and me. and for years it always has been a one way relationship, with me doing all the trying. she has nearly died several times, through things relatedto her abuse. everyone keeps saying about the rock bottom, but i also have been told frommany people including alcoholics and doctors that some people never reach or do not have a rock bottom. sad fact but a lot of people are not strong enough to fight against it and change their life. i know in my heart that is the case for my mum. i think i love her because she is my mum and i should love her.i feel for her when she is upset or in pain.
things are also not rosy in my house, my kids argue constantly and there always seems to be something going on. i love my husband dearly and have a strong marriage, he is good with my gran and also has been good with my mum. but i fear he is getting fed up with it all, that is why i have been venting here.
selfishly i see my own life the last 5 yearsbeing constantly up at hospital with my mum and gran. the first two were terrible as mum was always at the hospital drunk. before that were the bad times with my mum, all the disappointments, thedrunken rages everything that goes with an alcoholic in full swing. i dont want to wake up one morning and realise that im middle aged and through the important stages of my kids lives i have been preoccupied with my mum who does not even give an inch back. yes, i know what pain feels like, sometimes i try and see if i can getclose to her,but she pushes me away all the time. so maybe i am not as strong as you or others, because i am very close to giving up on our relationship.especially when my mum is on the verge of getting out again, and it will all start again.
i tried to walk away a good many years ago, this was when she was giving my gran a hard time, driving drunk all the time amongst other things. i saw her only once in a period of two years. but i was not strong enough to keep away