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Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 313
   Posted 8/15/2009 4:04 PM (GMT -7)   
update on my mumwho has been in hospital the last week and a half.
latestnews is the nurses think she might be suffering fromalcoholic dememtia, they think she has became verbally abusive(cause she wants out for a drink) and might be unable to keep her self safe. her partner has finally committed himselfthat he can no longer look after her the way she is. she has chronic liver disease, has had three strokes, severe epilepsy, bowel trouble which means she cannot take the lactulose regularly so the toxins build up, osteoporosis etc and is 62. will care homes in the u.kaccept her the way she is and will that mean she loses her house and saving to pay for it. any advice please.

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 313
   Posted 8/16/2009 7:01 AM (GMT -7)   
somehow, i did not think it would maybe come to this. deep down i feel gutted for my was one thing having to put my gran who was 86 into a care home, but my mum she is 24 years younger, i cannot bear the thought of it. my wee gran is very poorly now and my head is messed up. i think deep down i thought there might be a slight chance mum would stay off the drink or the worse case that she would fall and die in her own house. i did not think about this. sorry for going on a bit...

New Member

Date Joined Aug 2009
Total Posts : 17
   Posted 8/16/2009 1:07 PM (GMT -7)   
I am so sorry to hear this.
It is really tough to have to watch our loved ones deteriorate.
What is even tougher (especially when it involves a family member), is relinquishing control of their welfare to strangers.
Especially when it seems to be the only bit of control we have at all.
It sure does suck, doesn't it?
However, on a positive note, you need to know that your Mom is getting the very best in medical care now.
Being attended to by a team of professionals 24/7, she will have no more opportunity to drink or otherwise derail her health.
This can only be a good thing for her. :-)
Try to rest, and just take each new day as it comes.

Regular Member

Date Joined Mar 2008
Total Posts : 313
   Posted 8/19/2009 12:59 AM (GMT -7)   

I feel as if i have travelled full circle again. after a terrible weekend of thinking i had finally made some hard decisions, her partner has now decided that he cant bear for mum to go anywhere. now things are going along like they have done many times before.mum is promising anything, so she can get out and it will be a matter of time til the same thing happens again.

i also have been at my grans everyday, she has been very sick doctors say she has pneumonia and not sure she is going to pull through. i want to be there for her , yesterday she seemed a little better. i left her and went to visit mum. you all were right in saying that the illness gets you so wrapped up in yourself, she asked about her mum never said she wanted to see her,i was exhausted and felt that i just wanted to walk away from her and stay away for a while. she only has twopeople to visit her in hospital, but now especially cause i know nothing is changed i feel it is a chore to see her.i struggle for things  to say, i fee as if i need a break.

i am going to have a long think about my situation, i do not grudge my gran any of my time i look forward to seeing her and hope god will make the right decision for her.she cant walk, barely can feed herself so is totally reliant on others. but i feel different with my mum. so hopefully i will come to some sort of decision as to the way ahead. when she gets out and returns to drink i dont think i can go through it again.

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