My heart goes out to you. I’m so glad you are feeling more comfortable. It’s a tough row to hoe. You have come such a long way and I am very proud of your progress. Jerry may never realize all that you have gone through, but it’s okay. God knows.
Don’t forget that as a man, (I don’t mean to sound facetious) Jerry has a longing to be in control of the situation. It is important that you take a few steps back and let him take some risks. He may stumble, but he will realize his boundaries. He may never become the man he used to be, but at least you are afforded more time to spend with him. Everyone is not so fortunate and we must count our blessings!
Harvey is really getting on my nerves so that reassures me that he is recovering well. But I will never let my guard down completely. I am currently sick with a cold or flu. I am very careful not to expose Harvey to my germs. This proved to be a real challenge. I thought I had a can of Lysol but I couldn’t find it. I have been rubbing the TV remote control down with his alcohol swabs! J
Yesterday, Harvey went to the transplant clinic alone (I refused to go since there are very vulnerable patients there). The doctor (secondary to the Transplant Director) wanted him to double the dose of his blood pressure medicine (Cozar 25mg to 50mg). Harvey did not question this, but I had a fit! I called them and demanded answers.
Since Harvey has been going to the gym his blood pressure has dropped well within normal limits (at times he presented with low blood pressure). I insisted that increasing the meds may jeopardize his health. Within hours, they backed off this decision and decided not to change his meds. It just goes to show you that you need to trust your instincts.
Life will slowly get back to normal. You need to simply stretch, take in a deep breath and realize that there are things simply beyond your control. It’s time to concentrate on yourself a little. Jerry needs to step up and let you relax a bit. You deserve it.
Life is short. Live it as full as you can.