here in united states alcoholism is a disease. their moments of clarity lasts so few and far between and if they refuse help or to get treated, no amount of courage can make them change. as allie knows there is nothing we can do to make them stop drinking they have to want to. you can lead a horse to water but you cant make him drink. as children of alcoholics we know the pain that we suffer and no one can fully understand what we go through and the pain we feel until you go through it yourself. you make it sound like if we cant make them stop drinking then we are cowards. do you know how many times my mom has been through rehab for alcohol and drugs? a ton and it dont work on her as she just doesnt have the willpower to quit. she was once so low she was homeless and living in shelters and yet she still drinks. my mom knows that she lost alot because of her drinking and yet she continues. it is a disease, that she cant seem to get out of just as the hep c and cirrhosis is a disease and to me the alcoholism is worse than the hep c and cirrhosis itself. my mom will go weeks without alcohol and go to rehab only to be drinking again the next day.just because we want them to clean up doesnt mean they will. it is their choice and they make it and we as the children suffer for it.
and i know you will prolly say that we should cut them out of our lives, well that is not as easy as it sounds. if we cut them out of our lives then their behavior self destructs worse and then when they die we will have to live with the guilt, whether we are to blame or not, of not doing what we can to do. the best we can do is to tolerate their behavior so they die knowing their kids still love them and that they were not alone. as much as i want to say to my mom i am done with you, i cant because i am the only one who is helping her get her meds and taking her to the doctors and getting her the propler meds. if i didnt her doctor wouldnt do jack crap with her because my mom has no idea on how to talk to the doctor and get the right treatment.
i dont know if you have family that are alcoholics but if you dont, then walk a mile in our shoes and then tell us how it feels. its not fun.i am not being mean, i just want you to understand the pain and heartache we go through, and most of us would walk to the ends of the earth for our parents to beat this addiction/disease. we would give up everything for it to happen but we also know that them quitting solely rests on them and we are left suffering in pain, knowing that their addiction is stronger than their love for us. and also we have to go through the motions of blaming ourselves for our parents faults and learning that it is not our fault they are like that.
From the beginning I would like to clarify that I know what is legal and possible the USA or for that matter sake, what is legal in Europe.
I can only talk about what is possible in Denmark and how the majority feel for what to accept.
Let us not confuse habits, 30 years ago, with how to treat the problems and diseases today.
There was so much that it wasn´t known in the treatment of alcoholikkerer.
Drinking alcohol is not a disease. It is the consequences of drinking that leads to diseases. Therefore, it is not while people are drinking, you can do something. It is during the breaks that you have a possibility.
Now it is often difficult to find the breaks, so we must try to make them. Either through cforce or without foorce. Breaks can be created by punching through the press, by intimidation, yes, by cheating. But the processing must take place during the breaks.
It's there and only there, we have an opportunity to affect their brain.
It can be done by getting their acceptance of a therapy (eg Minisota), by scaring them and making them clearly how their continued drink leads to a splittet family.
When this is done, so be ready to accept the consequences and THAT demands courage.
It must then be enough for now.