is she drinking, is she not? that question drives you daft probably more than the health issues although they are extremely bad. When a person drinks to excess,you get all the lies and deceit that comes with it, as well as the physical effects on that person. Trust has been taken away, without trust you will find it hard to take your mum back into the home and give her the care she needs.
I think Connie is right, you cannot babysit her, you need to live your life , your family deserve a worry free live especially if they have been through it all before. the truth is you do not know how long your mum has left,i used to think i would do anything put up with anything (maybe protest through an argument that got me nowhere), because i always felt that this might be her last time in hospital, she might be gone tomorrow. But i think i have realised, that my mum is a lot stronger than i think, she has been tohell and back but she still drinks heavily and she is still here, 2years later. so who knows. your family and husband alsoneed you right now, dont make the mistake by being too absorbed in your mums life, because children grow fast, they are important too.
you say your cousin says she has not touched a drop, but youknow the signs you know what to look out for, alcoholics can be very good at disg uising what they do and can hide it very well. Can you speak to her doctor, if so talk about your options. you have to be strong for your mums sake, I am sure you still will be able togethelptocare for your mum, allowing her to stay in her own house,and you to continue your own life.
my mum has a partner who lives with her, i have been asked many times what would i do if he was not there? she would not be fit to stay herself, but i know i could not have her at my home. i could not cope, i would not sacrifice my kids or husband. i know I might have that to deal with in the future and to be honest i am glad i do not have to deal with it now. i would not want to put my mum in a nursing home, but i know i might have to. although you have a sister, you sound as if it is left to you, is it?