WG, first of all, you are not only welcome here, but you are NEEDED here...as someone who has been on the caregiving end and then experienced loss, you have a lot to give to others in a similar situation. We all care about you and want you to continue posting.
All of your feelings are normal and are a part of the grieving process. Your loss is still fresh, but in time it won't hurt as much. With both my mom and dad, I still miss what I never had--a close relationship with them. I've grieved this too, and learned to let it go as much as possible, but way down deep it's still there.
Regarding your uncle, men handle alcohol differently than women. Men are larger and have more muscle. Alcohol hits women much harder and faster. However, if your uncle keeps drinking, he will eventually suffer the same effects as your mom. It just takes longer. It is somehow comforting to know that your mom was not drinking towards the end.
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"But that was yesterday, and I was a different person then."
Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland