if she doesnt want your help then there is nothing more you can do. you cant let her make your life miserable as you have your own family. all it is doing is causing you heartache so it may be time for you to move on. if you stay i also understood as i stuck around but my mom wanted my help and wanted to live so our situations are slightly difference. i know about
how it feels to be the outsider on a illness that is how it feels. take care of you and know you have someone here you can talk to.
Sometimes i feel like a outsider looking in on my mums illness. I am not her caregiver, she would have never allowed that.Her partner is the one who cares for her at home, sees to her needs, gets her meds, picks her up when she falls down. Me sometimes i feel like nothing. I am her daughter, she does not want me involved much in her life, they say they can manage. I offer to help go shopping, clean, help her sort out her finances, take her out the answer is always the same no. once i did do somethhing for her, when i came back in the next time i was told, that they have managed themselves so far they can carry on doing that. I am sorry if i have confused anyone. it has been that long when we had any kind of relationship, when my gran took poorly about 4 years ago, i took over there made sure carere were coming in, being there for her if she needed me for anything, but all i can remember is my gran being upset at the state of my mum back then. all i can remember is my mum neglecting and arguing with her, i was there to pick up the peices. i would have my gran to stay out beside me when she was poorly but not my mum. as time went on , my mum refuses to help my gran and decided she was to go in a home.she did not really bother where, i prepared my gran, as my mum was in and out the hospital at times. my self and my husband vetted the homes discussed with my gran before making any decisions. at this time i was running between hospitals visits trying to fit both in. i think my priority at the time was my wee gran. she was scared, unhappy and i was desperate for this to change. i wanted nothing better than my mum to take more of an interest and be there for her. well you know the rest my wee gran died last year whilst my mum was in hospital.her partner despised the time i spent with my gran and said that time should have been spent with my mum.
every time my mum goes into hospital i visit her,talk to doctors discuss what is happening with her. i have arranged help at home because he says he cant cope, they get it for a few days then tell them they can manage. I get a little input whilst she is in, but what i think does not matter. maybe i have no right to be going on about her when i am not even her caregiver. i am going to let her get on with it. nurses say yesterday it would take her partners co operation before we could get any doctor to assess her mind to see if she is fit. as long as he is willing to take her hope and believe that she will stay off the drink then they cant do nothing. he says he will take her out tomorrow if she wants. so my hands are tied. so it is like being a bystander looking in not being allowed to help. i think why is this affecting me so bad i am not the one that has to look after her. this time i have taken another step backwards for my own sanity. thanks for listening
The only person who can make you happy is you. Be your own self and love who you are because each and every one of you are wonderful for who you are