Thank you all for your input. Just a little background. I've actually been quite estranged from my dad for a number of years due in large part to the drinking. So we aren't exactly close. I've been in counseling and I've tried very hard to maintain healthy boundaries, to stay away from the "drama" as you put it. Because it is totally that, DRAMA. This isn't my first go around with drunks. My mom and brother both were severe hardcore alcoholics and drug addicts. Amazingly they are both sober now. Thank God. But seems too late for my Dad at this point. Its so terribly sad though as he is only 63 and from the neck down he looks and moves like he is 90. Because we were estranged I had no idea of his health problems. I would talk to him occasionally and he seemed strong enough. He had back surgery last fall (which i think has precipitated a big decline in his health) but he had insurance at that time and had physical therapists working with him and seemed on the mend. So it was a big shock when I got a call that he was at the hospital (at no point has cirrhosis ever been mentioned)and that he had been in hospital for ten days. He was telling the nurses he had no family. and then lying to me that Ohhh noooo he gave them my number, what was i talking about
? He was released from the hospital on tuesday. Unsafe discharge. Hospital stated he needed a placement in an assisted living. However at this point he has no insurance and he is not 65 and is unable to work. He doesn't want to go to a nursing home, he wants to stay in his own apartment,blah blah blah. So we are kind of between a rock and a hard place. His "friends" have abandoned him because the situation is so demoralizing. He's unable or unwilling to even try to get up and use the restroom. So he's been urinating on himself on the couch and then sleeping in it. He has bedsores which I guess I'm going to have to change the bandage because if I don't who will? I"m sooooo angry and resentful about
this situation. To be sick and have the choice to extend your life and choose instead to drive the nail into the coffin further just baffles me. But its truly so difficult to know someone is in such dire straits (and truly i don't think mentally he's all there, i requested a psych eval in hospital...that was a joke,so officially he's mentally fit and in control of his life)in their own filth, facing eviction and killing themselves with drink and walk away...Its so upsetting especially when you are a sensitive person that wouldn't like to see ANYONE in that circumstance, much less a family member. Thats my struggle. Knowing at some point I will more than likely have to walk away. and dealing with the churning internal feelings it brings up of helplessness and grief
Its good to know that there are other people that can empathize.
p.s. anyone have any experience with MELD scores?
Post Edited (imalittleteapot) : 4/30/2010 6:30:12 PM (GMT-6)