Val, that's why I suggested those meetings for you. You would have a safe place to openly discuss your feelings and nobody will judge you. You will also receive some tools and suggestions to help you deal with your emotions and the situation you are in.
You are not selfish. Coming here and sharing my experiences helps ME more than it helps you. It's basically the 12th Step: "Having had a spiritual awakening, as a result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to other alcoholics, and to practice these principles in all our affairs."
I have expanded that to include loved ones of alcoholics. It helps take my mind off of me and my problems. Right now, going through the grueling process of evaluation for transplant, I'm not able to be here as much...but I promise I could not let a day go by, if humanly possible, without at least checking into what is going on in the forum. Sobriety is not just putting the plug in the jug--it's changing one's entire life. (Note my signature line.) It's scary and doesn't happen quickly. But it does happen if an alcoholic follows the 12 Steps...which are really just a tool for making the necessary changes. Al-Anon has it's own 12 Steps, as does Codependency.
Whether you go to the suggested meetings or not, at some point soon you will need to take a stand like Natasha has done. It will be easier to make a decision if you discuss this with others, in person, who have been in this exact situation.