I didn't intentionally change font size. What I did
was copy my post to my word processor for spell checking because I
can't spell a lick. When I pasted it back here, it was so small I
could barely read it for the small size so I changed the font size in
my word processor and pasted it back in here and it was larger.
If I could bypass feeling sorry for myself I suppose
I would be just fine. I don’t want to be selfish, I work hard at
absorbing the blows from others without firing back. My best
friend... well, somehow got offended at me and I really don't know
why. Something about the Skype message I left him asking him for an
update if he had one on her. It seems he thought I was nagging him.
He flat said I offended him (which I respect so it can be properly
taken care of) over the text then said,"I bet you want an update
on (her name), well, I can't give you one (he almost looked pleased
that he hurt me), (her name) asked that we not tell you anything
because she does not need you in her life right now".
He walked out of my store and I fell apart. It feels like my heart is
in a clamp. I didn't get offended, I got destroyed as if I was not
heart damaged already. I can't sleep so I started drinking till I
pass out. Yeah, I know...
I end up calling my Dr. He sends me to the ER because
of the passing of blood clots. It's one of the things my body does
when I get stressed. When my 9 year old daughter died I went gray and
developed other problems that flair when my heart gets badly wounded.
They want me to see the mental health Dr about getting me something
for the stress, but I will not.
I finally got a message from her uncle's girlfriend.
She left a message on my answering machine that she had heart surgery
to replace 2 valves, She had a stroke, paralyzed on the right side,
had brain surgery and is on long term dialysis.
To answer one of your questions, I was once engaged
to her. I met her in a church meeting. She was professing to be a
recovered drug addict and I was proud of her.
I am going to confess, the pain has been so great
that I gave in and found comfort in the arms of another... which I
know is wrong but...
I have been able to call the girlfriend of the uncle
and get updates. The latest is that she is off of life support and
says a few things but does not seem to know what is going on. She
asks for ice often. She seems somewhat stabilized, but I am told the
prognosis is up in the air. She may live/she may yet die.
Thanks again. I
have no one else to unload on.