Posted 6/24/2014 6:04 AM (GMT -7)
This is our story: my dad and I. I am 41 years old, my step dad just turned 56. My mom is 62 (guess she liked the younger man hehe).
When I was born my real father was a heroin addict, a stripper and an abuser to my most amazing precious mom. She is the nicest person you would ever meet. When I was 6 months old my mom decided she could not take the physical abuse anymore and me, my sister and mom moved in with my grandparents to have a better life. Wow, I had the best childhood anyone could ask for. My real dad was never in my life, my mom and grandma protected us from him.
When I turned 12, I will never forget this day, we were all at my aunts, my mom came in with this guy, and I sat on his lap and looked up at him and said " will you be my dad?" He responded, yes I will be your dad. This is Lyle my step father, who never liked children or had any of his own, and he took my sister and I under his wing. I will say it wasn't always happy as everyone goes through ups and downs especially as teenagers, I had a bit of jealousy issues when I was young, but he took us in like his own.
My dad I call him "Ly" sometimes papa hehe, he thinks that's cute. Was always there for me, when my car broke down, or I needed him to pick me up on the side of the highway cause I ran out of gas (I was a teenager at the time and who cared about gas in the car haha). If I needed anything to be fixed, it was always him to the rescue. He was also my meteorologist, my mom and I would giggle because he never missed the news and if I needed to know the upcoming weather he would know. He would take us fishing, camping, we would have bonfires out on their 7 acres of property with good friends and family, he took me for quad rides, out for dinners as a family and most importantly would put me in my place when I did something wrong hehe.
8 years ago he wasn't feeling well, after many many years of drinking, he was not an abusive alcoholic at all, just for a bit grumpy at times. 8 years ago when he came back from the doctor I saw a piece of paper on the table and it stated "cirrhosis" he never told us, so I talked to my mom about this and I did research to what cirrhosis was. We talked to him about it, and he didn't want to talk. That was the beginning of many years, of trying to get him to stop drinking, he would get so mad at us the second we said anything. He is a stubborn man and what he wants to do He will do.
2 years ago was the start of the downhill spiral, he had a bleed out from his esophagus, they didn't think he was going to make it then. He then quit drinking for 6 months because he didn't feel well enough to drink. He then got his strength back and started on the beers again, many many a day, started at 10 am until supper :(
His anxiety was so bad he could hardly drive, he would throw up every morning, his legs would give out on him, as my mom would pick him up for the hundred times she has done that.
January 31, 2014 was my dad's last drink, he went pure yellow, the HE crept in and the ambulance and hospital visits started. He lost 80 pounds of his usual muscular manly body. He started losing his voice, sore throat, pain in stomach, ascites, many trips to get drained, the most I remember was 11 litres he couldn't even walk.
May 4, 2014 my dad has his liver transplant evaluation, and he denied transplant, to this day I don't know why, but my mom said he didn't want one. I'm sure he would rather give it to someone else, because he knew he did this to himself. He did tell us 2 years ago he was going to die soon.
June 18, 2014 dad fell down stairs and was trying to drink water out of the candy dish, didn't know where he was or doing, very confused but different than the normal HE episodes. This time something was different. Ambulance came that day and as we struggled with him to always go to the hospital before, this time he said he knew he had to go. After 5 days of pokes and prods, it was too much for him, we could tell he didn't want that anymore as he told my mom no more of anyone touching him, yesterday we decided comfort care only, he has hepatorenal syndrome his pee is bloody and dark brown, the lactalose is not working anymore, no bowel movements. I pray and hope my dad is at peace.
That's our story in a nutshell. My son just turned 13. My step dad absolutely loved my son very much.