Valerie, my daughter and I have what is best termed as a "strained" relationship. We are so totally different in the way we think, that we clash a lot. She also is holding grudges about
things that happened years ago. However, we are trying harder to get along since I've been ill. She is not up to caring for me when I get really sick, though. In fact, when I was diagnosed she told me I was going to need to get someone to help me and be with me because she couldn't do it. And I did hire someone to do most of the cleaning, all the laundry and grocery shopping, etc. It really is MY desire to go into a NH or hospice. I just don't want to have anyone caring for me that would be resentful about
it or not want to be here, and that would be the case. It's okay...I will be fine. I haven't mentioned to my b.f. about
his withdrawal. I don't want to pressure him or make him feel guilty. He is just trying to protect himself from a lot of pain. I do worry about
my cats and what will become of them, as they are getting old--15 1/2 and 16.
Well, I called Mayo today because the TheraSpheres treatment was supposed to start in early Jan., and here the month is half over and I haven't heard from them. I was told that they have hit a "snag"...a "technicality" that they have to work out, and that it could delay treatment for 4 more weeks. I asked to have the radiologist call me regarding chemoembolization and if I should go ahead and try that to prevent the tumor from growing larger. Then I remembered that the doctor who is head of the treatment protocol had told me that she would send me to a hospital that could give me the TheraSpheres treatment if there should be a delay at Mayo. So I will try to contact her on Tues. I believe they are closed on Monday for MLK holiday. I would have to go to Orlando or Tampa, but that might be a better option that the chemoembolization. I'm feeling a little scared tonight--that I am going to suddenly go into liver failure and die, since it has been many months since I was first found to have the tumor (May, I believe.) I've been having a lot of pain under the left ribs the past 2 days. Yesterday, I was having some on the right side, as well.
I'm going to say some extra prayers tonight, and I would appreciate it if y'all could do the same for me.
Thank you, Lerie, and I hope the roller coaster ride will even out for you soon.
Post Edited (hep93) : 1/14/2006 12:24:07 AM (GMT-7)