Posted 8/3/2018 8:54 AM (GMT -6)
when a patient has decided it is "enough", i have realized, as my friends are of an age (70s and 80s) that death is a reality we all must face, and that we have some control of our transition from this life.
palliative care is an alternative many choose when treatments have become too much to bear. you doc can recommend a hospice counselor who will educate you on the alternatives.
my partner, mike, sat at his brother's bedside when his brother made such a decision last fall. his brother had cirrhosis, and liver cancer that metastasized to his spine. he was paralyzed, bedridden, and in constant pain. he was offered a radical, experimental surgery, chemo and radiation. he decided on palliative care and spent 4 weeks in the hospice wing of the va hospital near his home. his family visited, even some who had been estranged. he passed in no pain with sufficient morphine. he just could not do one more intervention, even though he successfully cleared from hep c, and had 2 successful radio frequency ablations of tumors in his liver. he was 65...still young. and we are very sad...but, he chose what was right for him.
another short story. my partner, mike, was near death in 2011, needing a transplant, on the list, sober 6 months, and they finally had a liver for him. as they wheeled him to surgery, the nurse reminded him that the surgery could fail, that there were significant risks as he was in such dire condition. he told the nurse he had accepted either outcome, that he could not live one more day in the condition he was then. he was ready to die. me...not so much. he is now 7.5 years post transplant. a miracle, but he has decided if he needs another liver, or his stage 3 kidney disease progresses, he will not do an intervention.
i wish you and your family the best...this is sooo hard.
and hugs, mamalama