what your feeling is normal, your so very tired of seeing your father wast away and suffer a horrible death who wouldnt feel that way i know i did. i thought i was a horrible person. to any person who understands this and see it first hand would feel the same way you do. after six months on a dead run with my father i was a real mess i needed two months rest to try to get back to something normal. and now i have to deal with some of the medical bills and the house had to get a lawyer. but at least hes not suffering anymore thats the only way i can look at it and deal with it. just ask the dr what he thinks and how long he thinks he has left i,m sure he would have some kind of idea, and maybe you and your sister could put your heads together and come up with something. i had a dr tell me that cirrohsis was one of the most horrible death. please do not feel like a bad person at all i,m sure that everyone in this forum will tell you the same thing. have you tried talking to hospise? they were a great help for me. i only used them for a very short time. my husband told me that i was grieving even before i lost my father, and some of it is he was my only parent left and when he passed you kind of feel alone really alone like you have nobody else but i did. here is something i want to share its called falling apart,
i seem to be falling apart. my attention span can be measured in seconds. my patience in minutes. i cry at th drop of a hat. i forget to sign checks. half of everything in the house is misplaced. feeling of anxiety and restlessness are my constant companions. rainy days seem extra dreary. sunny days seem an outrage. other people,s pain and frustration seem insignificant. laughing,s, happy people seem out of place in my world. it has become routine to feel half crazy. i am told i am a newly grieving person.
i felt this way before i even lost him. i keep this on my fridg i read it almost everyday to remind me i,m not crazy. good luck to you and your family my thoughts and prayers are with you.