needed a bathroom visit myself after reading about
your hot air trip. Yikes, you poor guy!!! I am 53 so I feel as though I've lived a somewhat active life already. Not that I'm willing to hole up in bed, with a heating pad, glass of water, my trusty Club Crackers and the TV remote (and oh yeah, my Golden Retriever nearby). But I am quite content to live a quiet life, nonetheless. My daughters are now 18 and 21, ready to take on their own lives and I'm not needed as much. The only glitch in this plan is my husband bought a ski boat this past April, so like your hot air balloon trip, I have stressed out about
how in the world I was going to manage being on a boat all day long. Yes marinas have bathrooms but they are often times marine toilets and you can't have the rest of the party wait for you, on the boat while you're taking care of things.
My point is I've just let things go and I've said no to a lot of things in my life. I have 2 pushy sisters-in-law who think I stay home too much, I don't socialize as much as I used to and they want to manage my life. I've asked my husband if he's bored (we're both tending to slow down with our outings anyway and like being home bodies). He said no, it's fine. So I'm not holding him back. My 21 yo daughter burns the candle at both ends, she's incredibly busy, carving out more than 24 hours in a day. Yes she's in college and involved in so many clubs, church groups, etc. She thinks I need to be busy too!
What I would strongly suggest is that you do what you think is best. Be your own advocate and not cave to peer pressure. I never thought I'd have peer pressure (or my daughter's nagging!) at age 53 but I have it. If I seek it out. The two pushy SIL's? I avoid them both, like the plague! They will never get it because they have normal GI tracts, they can eat anything they want and have one big poop a day. Oh, how that would be so nice to have again.....but this is the new me and for the most part, I've accepted my situation. Of course I need a bathroom nearby most of the time and have gone everywhere - the mall, grocery stores, even portalets. But you do what you have to to.
Just search deep inside, come up with a plan to do what is best for you. It's okay to skip outings that sound ideal on the surface - a hot air balloon ride - but are not in your best interests right now. You can say no! My immediate family enjoys primitive camping. I've said no for 9 years and now that we have a boat, it would be very convenient to do this. But I have gently told them - I am not going to poop behind a tree, 15 times a day! No way.....camp in a park with flush toilets and I'll go. But if not, I'm staying home.
I do wish you well here but it's a fine line we all walk. And very, very carefully. This is why I no longer try to explain it to anyone who's "normal". I just take care of my needs, I try not apologize or go into details. And I whip out that lovely word - no! No thank you, that sounds like fun but I'll pass. Then I walk away, visit the bathroom (usually I need to anyway), or change the subject.
PS - like your prayer in public bathrooms, I take a deep breath, close my eyes, and pretend I am home, in my favorite bathroom, with no one needing to use the bathroom and my sweet dog at my feet. Does this work - well, sometimes just pretending does quiet my nerves and I feel better. But sometimes it doesn't work. about
half the time I can trick my gut and it's odd contractions into calming down, by mentally putting my body where I want to be most of all - HOME! How I love that word....
Post Edited (Marsky) : 7/28/2008 8:44:06 AM (GMT-6)