Well, well, well...where to start?
I have been dealing with painful pooping for many years now, but it wasn't until a couple of years ago that I realized that my problem was most likely IBS. Here are the things I experience when I am having an attack of IBS...please tell me if you experience the same.
Warning...may be graphic....or gross....
So, it start with an achy stomach and low back pain (similiar to menstrual cramps....I know you fellas know EXACTLY what I mean...lol)
Anyhoo...I start feeling very gassy and bloated. I begin getting these SHOOTING abdominal cramps every so often, and that's when I run to the porcelain god. Of course...it takes about 5 of these pain attacks before anything...ummmm....brown comes out....it's just urine the first 4-5 times.
Finally..that ONE big labor pain comes and off I run to the bathroom. After about 10 minutes of grunting and pushing....my first whopper arrives with a thud....it's usually big and hard. Congratulations to me, right? Wrong! I know that this is just the beginning. Over the next 15 minutes, my life (or butt) revolves around the toilet. And while circulation is being cut off to my butt cheeks because of the toilet seat, I take the time to look around for a plastic wal-mart bag, an old maxi-pad bag, a toilet paper bag...or if none of these are present, I am forced to take the trash can next to my toilet and dump the contents out. Why you ask?? Because this is when the rest of my litter starts coming. While I'm having my contractions every 4-5 minutes with stool that gets softer each time, I have a baggie or bucket between my knees while water just POURS out of my mouth. Then the back jaws start to get tight and clench, and i know that if I allow myself to gag, then it's gonna start coming out both ends. So as I'm pooping, salivating, and hurting, I just try to breathe to ease the pain.
After I have finished, and the toilet bowl is full, I feel much better. The problem? Now my poor little behind feels like it's on fire and it's time to get in the hot shower to comfort the poor little thing.
Do these symptoms sound to you like IBS? I've never been formally diagnosed...but I'm pretty sure this is it. I have attacks about 1 - 2 times per month...used to be more before I lost a bunch of weight....does anyone have these more or less often? Please tell me your experiences....
As for me...it's time for round three of the night to try and see if the fun listed above can begin!