I'm scared this is how it's going to be for the rest of my life

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Regular Member

Date Joined Sep 2007
Total Posts : 333
   Posted 4/28/2009 6:16 PM (GMT -7)   
I've been dealing with IBS now for seven years I keep to myself for fear of my symptoms acting up when someone or people are around.I tried having company today this person knows about my IBS and tells me it does not bother them in anyway what I go through and that I should not worry if I have to use my own bathroom more then once.My symptoms would not hold off for my having company I had to go use the bathroom two times and I blew it up I was so afaid that my guest would have to use the batroom after me that the stentch would not clear out in time if they had to use the bathroom, that I made my guest leave.The person was understanding and had no problem leaving I felt really bad they have been over before without me having to run to use my bathroom but I made the mistake of eating before they came over thought everything would settle and invited them over but that was a mistake I was fine afterwards just needed to have a bm but I just did not want them to go use the bathroom after I used it.I'm really scared that I will never be able to eat in front of people or have them over after I've eaten something I just have to go on an empty stomach if I want company.I'm scared I will live a lonely life till the Lord takes me from this earth and that I need to get used to it cause this is the way it's going to be from now on.I'm not sure if I'll be able to last another seven years with my life this way.I'll never be an a relationship will never spend time with friends it is what it is unless God heals me from this there is no hope for me I really feel IBS will be the death of me living and dying all alone. mad

Post Edited (jt80) : 4/28/2009 7:25:24 PM (GMT-6)

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jul 2007
Total Posts : 1956
   Posted 4/29/2009 4:27 AM (GMT -7)   
Awww jt, I wish I had an easy answer or fix for you but I don't.

Here's one thing I have learned the hard way - food and social situations (whatever they may be, you hosting guests over or being a guest in someone's home, or attending a sit down affair such as a wedding) just do not mix.

I either do not eat at all or eat very, very lightly.

I guess in my case I've learned that most people don't even notice I'm eating very lightly. If it's a party for example, I just do not eat. Many people around me are but I don't partake in food. I sip a beverage. If anyone asks why I am not eating, I fib and say - oh, I'll eat later or not hungry. If it's a sit down meal, I order a very small item from the menu and then pick at my food when it arrives. I make it seem like I'm eating a lot of food, but in reality I am not. I sometimes cut this item/entree in half or 1/3 to 2/3 and then ask for a doggie bag for the largest uneaten portion. Again, most people are not watching what I am doing (not eating!). I just say - oh I had a large lunch today, I'm full already.......I pull out all sorts of tactics to get thru these social situations that also involve food.

For me personally I have noticed that if I skip food before an event, don't eat during the event, I have almost no output. If you are having guests over, just keep busy in the kitchen. When you offer an appetizer, don't eat it. Just fib and say you've tasted it. Even if you have to set a fake timer in the kitchen, do it, and then excuse yourself. Pretend you're checking on food or washing dishes.

Then when it's time to eat, put very little amounts on your plate. Or if it's a large group, don't even eat. Just tell your guests you enjoy cooking too much to not do it and you'll eat later.

I know of two people who can't eat at all in social situations. The one is a 64 yo man, he has to eat by 4 every afternoon, otherwise he can't sleep because of severe heartburn. But he and his wife go out to eat with other couples on a regular basis. He has told all these people ahead of time, I'll go out with you and but I cannot eat. And he says once he explains it, everyone is fine and they all end up talking more than eating anyway. The other is a woman with severe scar tissue, due to several surgeries, she can only eat very small amounts of food at one time. She loves cooking so much, that she invites guests over all the time but each guest knows ahead of time that their hostess will not be eating. How courageous she is.

I am so sorry you feel so isolated and alone. You're not. We're all here for you.
Marsky/Mary's story.....
- Diagnosed with rectal cancer, April 1999 - Stage I, no treatment necessary
(5 hour colon resection: 90% sigmoid removed, 15 inches of colon removed, gall bladder removed, given temporary colostomy)
- Colostomy reversal, June 1999
- Left with IBS/D symptoms, multiple bm's every day
- On a low residue diet at least 75% of the time
- Takes Colace 50 mg each evening

All in all I do okay, I just use the bathroom A LOT! But I survived and beat cancer!

Veteran Member

Date Joined Jun 2005
Total Posts : 2976
   Posted 4/29/2009 10:21 AM (GMT -7)   
Buy or rent a house with two bathrooms so you can use one and your guests will have another one they can use.

Air freshners; I put a Glade oil plug-in in the bathroom where the cats litter box is kept and it's improved the overall smell in there 10-fold. Burning a match, though, is supposed to be the fastest way to get rid of odor, although I've also noticed that flushing while you're still sitting on the toilet helps flush the smell away without it getting too far up into the rest of the air.

I've actually been surprised, opening up with friends, how many people have gut problems nowadays. I think this is something that's slowly going to be accepted by most people because between diet and stress in the U.S. and other Western nations, gut problems are just going to increase.
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