I, too, understand what it is like to want to be alone when you feel so awful. But eventually, you will feel better, and then you will wonder what you survived all of the agony for, if not for a little love and happiness. I realize I am probably overstepping my bounds here, but I think you should forget about "God" and instead remember the people here in this world who love you and want to be with you. Then you will remember why life is worth living, once you finally make it off the toilet ;-)
I finally explained to my boyfriend of 1.5 years that I had IBS (I had to explain to him what that was) a couple of months ago. I was so scared that he would think I was disgusting, that he wouldn't want to be with me anymore. He was shocked that I thought so. He said, "Do you really think I'm that superficial? I love YOU [tapping my forehead, indicating my brain]. Your body is just icing on the cake." (Obviously, it does not feel like icing to me.) It just wasn't a big deal to him. When I said, "but, I want to be sexy for you," he laughed! He said, "you don't have to be sexy ALL the time." He even made a joke about holding his hands out for me to crap in if we went somewhere where there weren't any bathrooms around! I was so relieved I alternated laughing and crying for about 10 minutes. It's just not as big of a deal for most guys as it is for us silly, ruined-by-society females.
I had a HORRIBLE day IBS-wise today, but it's over now, and tomorrow is another day. I try to remain hopeful. You should, too. It sounds like you have someone in your life who loves you.