Hey Jt - I know how you feel about food. Here are my thoughts. Take from them what you will.
After years of suffering and serving as a veritable guinea pig for countless diets, alternative therapies, drug therapies, etc. I've come to accept that I really cannot control my IBS, even if I eat as safely as possible, because IBS is not caused by what we eat. It is only aggravated or made worse at times by the food we consume. If I cut were to eliminate everything that has given me GI grief at some point or another, I would be left with nothing to eat. Bottom line, diet only helps you prevent or control your symptoms by removing foods that commonly aggravate the GI system. Even then, it's not fail safe and you will have a bad day. Like when you eat something "safe" or something that you just ate last week without issue and for some reason today it sends you running to the bathroom. It's so unpredictable.
I think that because we tend to experience a worsening or onset of symptoms after eating, that we believe that the food we eat must be the source of our problems. We then think that we can eliminate this disorder by controlling what foods we eat, but truth be told, that doesn't work for most of us. We end up just driving ourselves crazy figuring out what to eat, what to avoid, etc. We also often beat ourselves up when we have an attack and try to pinpoint it on what we ate.....or maybe I"m just speaking for myself.
Anyway, I still do all I can do to prevent attacks. I follow the guidelines of the Eating for IBS diet (referenced by someone else here.) It's not a cure and not all the recipes and diet recommendations work for me, but it has helped me tremendously in the way I approach eating and making food. I also eat all organic food, make all my food fresh, avoid artificial sweeteners and other additives (esp HFCS!) and just try to take it one day at time.
When I'm having a hard time, and it sounds like you are, I literally eat only white steamed rice and white toast. Sometimes I'll make an angel food cake. It's a bland diet and pretty boring, but it helps to stabilize my gut somewhat.
Good luck and I really really hope you feel better soon!