Hi everyone hope you all are well myself soso my usual being woke up by flatulance in the morning is the same.I'm used to this and go to the bathroom and let my body do what it needs to do.Reason is cause I know no one can hear the loud noises coming from me lol but things have changed.Along with being woken up by my flatulance the sound of construction tools wake me up,yes there is construction being done on the floor outside my apartment door.In the basement and in the back of my place so I'm having major anxiety thinking those guys can here what's going on in my bathroom lol everytime I have to go to my bathroom I turn on the radio in there to blast.It does not help that I'm flushing so much I can only imagine what these guys are thinking about
me.Really though why would they care or be nosey wondering why I'm using my bathroom so much.My anxiety starts making me feel that thier laughing at me or grimacing thier face in discust.This what my mind starts racing with these things that fill me with fear.My morning routine to myself is known by two or three other perfect strangers,oh and did I mention I have new neighbors.Yes new people moved in to the apartment upstairs from me and now I'm worried about
if they can hear what goes on in my bathroom and what must they be thinking with all the flushing I do lol.I know this is crazy I've posted about
this before but my anxiety is brought on by these thoughts.I've been missing my therapy sessions cause we were talking about
how to get over these thoughts and the anxiety.I just need to remember no one really knows or cares and if they did there is something wrong with them.IBS makes me feel less then and just gross and discusting that's how it's making me feel and I hate that it is.Like my therapist says everyone poops and everyone's poops stinks I just need to remember that but for me I feel I'm not normal cause it's constantly.Anyways I have a doctor's appointment today at 3 it's very important that I make it I hope I do.In order for me to make it I need to be able to have the several bms that happen and feel that I've evacuated enough of them.So that I can feel comfortable with heading out for the day knowing I will not have the sudden urge or need to go and run to search for a public bathroom to have a bm.I get major anxiety over having to have a bm in a public bathroom,lol I'm all messed up.So I'm just praying that this day goes well and just to think positive that it will.I hope you all have a nice day,oh!!!! before I forget I won some money on a scratch and win sweepstakes on an advertisement that came in the mail just a hundred dollar gift card.Some good news that I needed some of that is going to go to groceries lol much needed.Till next post I've realalized that most are my post are so negative it's not good to send out negative energy it will come back to you.I'll try to type about
good things next post wishing you all good stomach and digestive health all my love take care.