Posted 6/16/2010 10:37 PM (GMT -6)
Just wanted to rant a little bit and ask some questions,this site is so fantastic.:) anyway,I;ve been sick for years now(I can't believe it's been nearly 3!) and over that period of time with my stomach being such a mess,I've got down to 108 pounds. I'm 5'4,17 years old,which I think is still in the healthy range for now,but I'm cutting it pretty close. my family doesn't understand and gets so angry at me for not eating more,and when I try to explain they don't listen. it's gotten so bad they now believe I have an eating disorder and am in denial. idk what to do. I mean,I eat 3 times a day,but usually very small meals,and I'm vegan,which drives everyone in my carnivorous family absolutely crazy.(lol, inspite of everything,I take comfort in that I'm bugging them,lol) but anyway,my main problem is,if I eat very little my body functions a lot better than if I eat normal sized meals.when I do it's like my guts just stop completely. (ick,I know,sry) but I am starting to get really scared because I don't think I'm getting enough of anything(i take supplements,but still) but I feel like I have no choice in the matter because I can't eat more because it makes me sick. sometimes I get so depressed,I feel like i'm just slowly dying from this. I feel like i have two choices,I can either eat and have my intestines stop working and be miserable and death;y sick(so terrified something my rupture,too,or laxatives will stop working completely) or I can slowly starve to death. idk what to do. whenever I try to talk to my dad about this he just gets so upset and completely shuts down. I try to not be scared,and stay optimistic because I know I need to hold it together for my family. I can't talk to any of them about how scared I really feel,that I think I really might die from this. idk. I know that I shouldn't pretend I'm not hurting either,but I try to stay optimistic,because I know that sinking into a depression will just make it so much worse. what do u guys think? how do we all keep from losing to much weight with all of this happening to our poor bodies?