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OT - having a beloved pet put to sleep

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Marsky
Veteran Member
Joined : Jul 2007
Posts : 1956
Posted 12/29/2010 5:48 AM (GMT -8)
Brief hx - I had colorectal cancer in 1999, almost 1 year later to the date, in 2000, we got a sweet, beautiful Golden Retriever 9 week old puppy. She became my personal therapy dog I'd say.....always with me, napping in our water bed if I had a bad day, hanging out in our powder room with me on my usual daily trips (what many of us experience). In fact she claimed the powder room as her own, she'd go in there if it were raining, storming and when she heard fireworks. She got cancer this past fall and after several surgeries (one to remove her front leg), the Vet couldn't stop the cancer from spreading. Our daughters are grown now, one moved away, one a college student. Our sweet dog Hope, hung in there for 3 days after our oldest daughter came into town, on the 24th. 2 days ago she was really struggling and we knew it was time, the Vet put her to sleep. We were all there with her.

Needless to say we are all heartbroken over her loss, she would have turned 11 this coming February. Today we are taking a walk, in her memory along her favorite path and haunts. A memorial of sorts.

Still haven't put her toys and food/water bowls away yet. I just couldn't bring myself to do that on Monday and kept telling myself I'd do it yesterday. Today feels right.

I know some people rush out and get another dog but our family is in transition. We are usually empty nesters and have no idea what the future holds in store (possibly moving to a much smaller home, possibly a condo).

Finally, as many of you can relate, my IBS-like symptoms are off the charts. I have the dreaded D. And each time I go into the powder room, I wish she could lie at my feet one more time.

We did the right thing though because the morning of the appt (ironically it was a prescheduled appt. for stitch removal for her last surgery), she had been walking up to each of us, crying in pain and communicating in her own canine way as if to say - guys, help me, something isn't right. The tumor had spread to her throat area and was also in the original amputation incision area. Her cancer grew 3 times like this, almost overnight, incredibly at a rapid pace.

Thanks for reading everyone. Sorry to have rambled on a bit too long.......
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dbab
Veteran Member
Joined : Jan 2004
Posts : 4151
Posted 12/29/2010 8:43 AM (GMT -8)
RIP Hope :(

Just keep those special memories close to you and know that you were special friends to each other, she had a complete life with a family that loved her dearly. I know the loss of a pet hurts really bad and I'm sorry for your pain. HUGS
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artist guy
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Joined : Jan 2010
Posts : 1373
Posted 12/29/2010 8:59 AM (GMT -8)
hey marsky, I feel your pain, I'm from crohns forum but was scrolling and saw your post, I can't talk about our beloved amy, so please go to my website and click on amy button. www.curtswillow.com and read our story it will help

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Marsky
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Joined : Jul 2007
Posts : 1956
Posted 12/29/2010 9:45 AM (GMT -8)
dbab - thank you. We are cherishing our special memories of her and retelling funny stories, some from long ago, some more recently.

artist guy - I'm so very sorry to hear about your sweet dog Amy's outcome. What a beautiful girl she was! I realize it's hard to verbalize how we feel about our pets. My husband is doing less talking about her than my daughters and I are. It's just important for each of us to grieve in our own way and not be pressured to do it another way. I know with me I can't bring myself to put away her toys and food/water bowls. It's all out as if she's still with us. Today or tomorrow I hope to begin packing it all away. You'll know the best time to scatter Amy's ashes. And possibly never. There is no rush and no need to do anything until you are ready.

Thanks again for your replies.

Sometimes I think I like hanging out over on UC forum, it's much more active than this one and sometimes my symptoms are similar to UC. Just reading your reply artist guy reminded me how nice and active the UC forum is.
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artist guy
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Joined : Jan 2010
Posts : 1373
Posted 12/29/2010 11:33 AM (GMT -8)
marsky, it took us 2 years to remove her igloo from her deck, we went to san diego humane society for group therapy, seriously we needed help, we spent $15,000 on her trying to save her, useing home equity money

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Marsky
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Joined : Jul 2007
Posts : 1956
Posted 12/29/2010 2:45 PM (GMT -8)
artist guy - that makes me feel better. Your dog had to have been extra special to be this attached to her. I'm so sorry you lost her too soon.

Well I sent an email to the neighbor with Goldens who was directly responsible for getting a Golden. My husband, daughter and I were about to run errands far from home and everyone getting shoes, coats on. Then I see a tail go by our front door and realize it's a Golden. I said outloud to my family, there's a dog on our front porch and it's a Golden. My daughter briefly thought - mom's cracking up. My husband said - it's as if Hope said, guys I know you miss a Golden, so I sent you one.

Turns out it was the neighbor, he read my email, started tearing up and decided to stop at our house on their walk. We petted his sweet 11 yo Golden, Tucker for about 15 minutes. Steve, the owner said - I wasn't sure if I should come down but then I thought maybe you just need to pet a Golden right now. I did! It helped greatly. Sadly his dog no longer has his eye sight (condition called Sars?). I hadn't been aware because when I walked my dog I could never stop and pet other dogs being walked by their owners. She was always jealous. So sadly now if I want I can pet as many dogs on walks as I want to.

We've been talking about this neighborly visit and it was perfect timing. I am glad I sent them an email now.

Am I do better tonight? No not much but I haven't cried in a few hours. That's a start.

Thanks again artist guy for your replies. They've greatly helped me at this sad time.
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artist guy
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Joined : Jan 2010
Posts : 1373
Posted 12/29/2010 5:18 PM (GMT -8)
ahhh, marsky, I can tell you it does get better, my wife is now a pet sitter, and when she brings these two wonderful standard poopdles over, we have 1 acre totally 5ft chain linked, they're are so smart really great dogs, so we walk them alot, and these two are big time hikers, their owners are, we live in mnt's so lots of good hikes, as well I couldn't walk thru this meadow that I walked amy on almost everyday for her entire life, well I couldn't walk thru the meadow for ayear, be strong. but you are supposed to greive you lost a child, part of your family, I wrote a memorial for her in our local paper, very cathartic, her ashes I still need in my room, don't know when I'll spread them, but I will

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Alexdog
New Member
Joined : Dec 2010
Posts : 3
Posted 12/29/2010 6:09 PM (GMT -8)
Sorry to hear. A couple of years ago I went thru the same when I lost my dog. It borke my heart and I did not put her stuff away fro a long time. I didn't get another dog right away eiter. After all there is no replacement. Zeba is still my best friend and the pain is still there. I did get 2 more dogs since love them tremendously but neither one will take her place in my heart. Allow yurself to greive and try to think of all the pleasant memories you had wih her and don't put a timeline on putting her toys / bowls away why should you?
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artist guy
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Joined : Jan 2010
Posts : 1373
Posted 12/29/2010 6:36 PM (GMT -8)
I want to say one thing I remembered, about 1 month after she was put down, I told my wife I want to walk the meadow for amy, she would want me to continue hiking, so off I went and I saw her ghost running at me, but she wasn't limping, running full speed, it was brief, but real, and it was beautiful, she wan't in pain, happy, she has already met your hope.
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Marsky
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Joined : Jul 2007
Posts : 1956
Posted 12/30/2010 9:27 AM (GMT -8)
You know I may post a memorial page to her, it is so hard to realize I won't see her again (well I believe in my heart I will). Thank you alexdog and artist guy for your heartfelt words of comfort. They do really help.

My daughter created a photo album last night and posted it on facebook, I hope this works. At least you can see our beloved pup. I know she is out of pain and romping freely, probably with her best friend Tilly (she passed away several years ago and Hope still looked for her).

http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=37607&id=100000904418375&l=e60439aeed
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shawn12
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Joined : Jul 2004
Posts : 1293
Posted 12/30/2010 9:50 AM (GMT -8)
Marsky

I am very sorry to hear you lost your loved one. I have had many dogs in my life and that is never easy and I miss them all.

my condolences for Hope.

I am standing on the seashore.  A ship at my side spreads her white sails in the morning breeeze and starts for the blue ocean.

She is an object of beauty and strength, and I stand and watch her until she is only a speck of white cloud where the sea and sky meet and mingle with each other.  Then someone at my side exclaims, "She is gone."

Gone where?  Gone from my sight, that's all.  She is just as large in hull and mast and spar as she was when she left my side, and just as able to bear her load of freight.  Her diminished size is in me, not in her.

And just at the moment when someone at my side says, "She is gone," there are other eyes watching her coming and other voices ready to take up the glad shout, "There she comes!"

Travel well, friend.

 

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artist guy
Veteran Member
Joined : Jan 2010
Posts : 1373
Posted 12/30/2010 2:06 PM (GMT -8)
hey marsky, google, A Pet's Prayer
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Marsky
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Joined : Jul 2007
Posts : 1956
Posted 12/30/2010 8:20 PM (GMT -8)
Thank you Shawn, how touching that poem is. I will google a Pet's Prayer artist guy. Thanks for the suggestion. My daughter posting the pictures on facebook last night has helped. I've only looked at them a few times - times 10!
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Marsky
Veteran Member
Joined : Jul 2007
Posts : 1956
Posted 12/31/2010 6:17 AM (GMT -8)
artist guy - that was a wonderful prayer. I may print it and say it on our memorial walk today. We had hoped to walk along our dog's favorite path and haunts 2 days ago but my daughter kept saying she just wasn't ready yet. I need to grieve in my own way so I of course didn't want to push her until she was ready. She leaves to go back to her college campus tomorrow and today our weather is pleasant, high of 54 after having such a cold and snowy December this year (for Cincinnati, it's rare to be that cold in December). As the snow kept falling, I wished the weather had cooperated better and we could have driven our dog to her favorite park and spots. But then as we all say it might have been a very sad walk. Because she was used to going around the park's entire perimeter on a fitness trail with us and to only go part the way might have been too sad for us (and her). Oh how all of this is so raw and difficult - still.

After reading your wonderful tribute to your sweet Amy, I think over the next several weeks I'm going to start a blog of sorts, just getting down my thoughts and typing stories my daughters and husband have shared. Just saved on our word processing docs and do something with them eventually. But for now it may be very therapeutic for me get my thoughts out and down on paper (I do like to type over hand written notes).

On one hand losing Hope just after xmas has been so incredibly sad, but in some ways, we've all been able to be together. As I said my youngest daughter is still in town, so if I can't sleep, I know she'll be up (night owl that she is), my husband had to go to work only 1 day this week so each morning, he's been telling stories about routines he had with Hope on the weekends as he got up for the day (I used to sleep in until 8 or so). He said Hope was just chomping at the bit, waiting to hear me stirring in the morning and if she heard me she'd walk over to him and look at the stairs, as if to say - can I, can I go up and see mommy? So cute. Things she did long before the amputation surgery.

Well, heartfelt thanks to you artist guy - wish I knew your first name (mine's Mary), lol - you've been so kind and I needed to read that I am no alone in my grief. Thankfully I haven't run across a non-pet owner who doesn't understand. I'm careful who I talk with about my sadness. For all of us that had beloved pets that became full fledged family members, you know there is an equal number of non-pet owners who never quite understand our devotion to them. To them I say - you are missing out in life. As my youngest daughter often says - a family isn't complete without a dog mom.

Thanks again.
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Mitzi in GA
Regular Member
Joined : May 2008
Posts : 23
Posted 1/5/2011 6:11 PM (GMT -8)
Your story is absolutely heartbreaking.  I have been sick for three years now, had a total colectomy for ulcerative colitis, with a very rocky road to recovery.  Many hospitalizations due to abscesses, pain and vomiting.  More surgery to see what was doing inside...just adhesions.  In pain still...but when I was post surgical for the colectomy and so sick, my beloved dachshund was suffering and had to be put to sleep.  I was hysterical to the point where I had to be heavily medicated...especially when I insisted on hearing over the phone what was going on at the vet.

I had several hallucinations, I guess....that my dog was in the room staring at me and then she turned around walked out.  It was a terrible time.  Hopefully, the grief will become less.

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Marsky
Veteran Member
Joined : Jul 2007
Posts : 1956
Posted 1/8/2011 2:09 PM (GMT -8)
Mitzi - thank you so much. The grief hopefully will be less in time. Even in your extreme discomfort you thought of you dog. I am so very sorry to hear how you lost your dog while in the hospital. I feel for you, that had to have been terrible to endure. Like you I would have wanted to be there. I'm so sorry you couldn't be.

Today her Vet sent us a print of her paw, in a round clay disc. I cried the minute I opened the bag. They had it wrapped in purple tissue and placed in a white gift box. Along with a sympathy card. Their office name is Paw Print Animal Hospital. Always thought they'd send a print of her paw on paper, with ink but since they hadn't by now I just figured they wouldn't. This round disc is so much nicer. I can put my fingers into it and almost feel her paw on my hand. If that makes any sense.

Artist guy - like you while walking your property and seeing your dog, I swear the other night when I was starting dinner, I saw her walk by with her tail up high as she often would. When I'd start dinner, she'd walk into the kitchen and plop down in her favorite corner. As if to say - now we're starting dinner, okay, I'll hang out with you mom. So cute. So like my dog. But I honestly thought I saw her tail go by.

But wow this is so hard to let her go. Going to take a while.
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shawn12
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Joined : Jul 2004
Posts : 1293
Posted 1/8/2011 3:50 PM (GMT -8)
Its hard for me to even red this thread, because of all the dogs I have had.

another resource of course s the rainbow bridge.

http://rainbowbridge.org/
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Mitzi in GA
Regular Member
Joined : May 2008
Posts : 23
Posted 1/8/2011 5:27 PM (GMT -8)
Yes, we also received the paw print disc in a gift box with a card!  We keep the disc near the urn with her ashes on a table near the fireplace.  There are bits of fur mixed in the dried clay, which makes it even more precious.  I thought it was something my vet did with her patients, but I guess it's something that is being done by many animal hospitals.

We have her "sister", also a senior dachshund, a rescue Lab mix we got from Animal Control on her last day there before the dreaded injection, and last year a rescue Chihuahua/Pekingnese.  But the memories of Abigail remain.  I love each dog so much...they are all special.  I'm sure we all do!!

I hope your grief becomes less over time.

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Marsky
Veteran Member
Joined : Jul 2007
Posts : 1956
Posted 3/19/2011 5:36 PM (GMT -8)
Hey everyone, update on our family - we adopted a beautiful 11 week old male, lab/golden mix puppy. His dad was a yellow lab and his mother a dark golden. He's very sweet, wanting to chew on everything in sight but already I have a new bathroom buddy. Since uh I spend quite a bit of time in our powder room, he comes in with me now. I keep 3 of his chew toys in there and we have to keep the bare minimum of items in there, no TP on the dispenser, roll needs to sit on the back of the toilet until he loses interest in TP'ing my first floor. lol But it's nice to have a dog again.

I'd like to say that having a new puppy helps me miss our beloved previous dog, Hope. But truthfully, it doesn't. I still miss her, so much and have cried a few times since we got the new pup. But they say your next dog shouldn't be anything like your first one. And he is his own little dog, some similar traits to our first dog but he's different in many ways. I think this is how it was supposed to turn out (although we tried rescuing a golden from a local GR rescue organization but they turned us down because of our instant wireless dog fence).
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shawn12
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Joined : Jul 2004
Posts : 1293
Posted 3/21/2011 10:54 AM (GMT -8)
Marsky, Glad you adopted a new dog. :)

I still miss the pets I have lost for sure, but it does get a little easier with time. You never forget though.

Glad to hear you have a new friend.

Hope your doing well all in all.
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Marsky
Veteran Member
Joined : Jul 2007
Posts : 1956
Posted 3/21/2011 3:12 PM (GMT -8)
Thanks! We finally chose his name, Toby. It suits him and he already answers to it when I call him.

He's going to be good for keeping my stress levels down. And is already attached to me the most. Although he seems to love everyone, like our Golden did. Which is what I wanted.

But I do still miss our Golden, sweet Hope. I've accepted that I always will. She was a vital part of our lives and family.
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G20man
Regular Member
Joined : Jul 2010
Posts : 89
Posted 3/21/2011 11:24 PM (GMT -8)

Hi Mary. I'm so glad to hear you have a new addition to your family. I've been through the pain of losing beloved pets, and it's one of the hardest things to go through. But you're right, we shouldn't ever try to replace the lost pet, each pet has it's own personality. My current dog, Ginger, is 11 now, and I find myself babying her and hugging her more. I know God has given our pets a certain lifespan and all we can do is give them the best life we can. And look how much more they give us back!!!! I hope Toby and you have many years of happiness together.

BTW: I've been doing very well since my surgery. Best decision I've ever made :-)  . 

God bless!!!!

                                 Tom

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Marsky
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Joined : Jul 2007
Posts : 1956
Posted 3/22/2011 3:24 AM (GMT -8)
Hi Tom! Great news to hear. So glad you had the surgery too and kept your sigmoid!!! Very happy about that decision too. Cherish your Ginger, because you just never know. Once our Hope turned 9 and then 10, I knew I had to cherish everyday with her and really make the most out of our time together. I'm proud to say my entire family knew this and we made her remaining years with us as enjoyable as possible. We had known many family and friends who had suddenly lost dogs around the age of 9. I knew in a sense we were on borrowed time with her. But near the end, her passing and going severely downhill went rapidly. Her tumor rapidly grew over a 48 hour time period. I still find myself tearing up realizing she is gone now. Our new pup Toby is quite active and does funny things like she did, but not quite the same. He's going to make his mark on our family. I keep telling him he has mighty big paws to fill!

Oh but it is good to have a dog in the house again and hear that bark. I had missed having one to take care of. I had told my husband we were getting quite lazy, our winter was very quiet and we literally hibernated a lot (Ohio Valley cold and snowy winter). So having a dog that needs several walks a day is healthier and more proactive. It's not good to stay home that much!

So glad to hear you're doing very well too Tom. Hug your dog Ginger for me!
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Marsky
Veteran Member
Joined : Jul 2007
Posts : 1956
Posted 3/23/2011 5:06 AM (GMT -8)
Hey all - last night as I tried to fall asleep at 11:30, I began experiencing the awful pains in the rectal area, not quite as bad as some describe here as the spasm type but close. I knew I couldn't sleep like this, it was far too painful and my stool difficult to pass. So I got up, starting sipping hot tea, walking around my house, doing squats and leg lifts, and thought okay, I'd better get our puppy up out of his crate (kept in a front room not near the family room/powder room area). He was as good as gold, slept with me in the bathroom, until 3 am. So sweet. Thought he'd be a handful and hyper but he was sleepy. He just kept letting out these sighs as if to say - there, there, I'm here. It was as if my beloved Hope told him to do that (now you all know I'm some wacky dog owner). I hate when I get into this stool stage, it seems as if they didn't create an opening that's large enough but it's actually from inflamation and my stool not being soft enough. I realized I probably had skipped a few stool softener doses and not eaten enough fruit.

So what a night I had but my new "therapy" dog performed beautifully! As if he knew just what to do to make me feel better. I knew then and there we had made the right decision in getting another dog.

I am able to work today, thankfully. By giving up sleep and letting my crazy GI tract work itself out for 3 hours, I'm feeling better now. Not as close to 100% as I can be, but close.
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Marsky
Veteran Member
Joined : Jul 2007
Posts : 1956
Posted 3/27/2012 4:44 AM (GMT -8)
Thanks. That puppy is a year and 3 months old now. Quite grown up but still a puppy at heart. He follows me everywhere (what I asked for). I still have plenty of bad IBS days and he's usually hanging out with me in the bathroom. I never really had to cultivate this, it just happened.

But since I started this topic after we had to put our beloved first dog to sleep, I should add that there's not a day goes by that I don't think of her. I still feel like Hope got part of my heart, reserved only for her.

I'm such a dog lover now...
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