Posted 5/22/2007 12:06 AM (GMT -6)
i cant tell u how much it helps to hear that others have anxiety based ibs! ive always known this was mostly in my head, but everyone said that was not possible. My ibs started right after i graduated high school when I started taking birth control pills in conjunction with a very emotionally damaging relationship. I began have D and pain every night. I would stay up all night long pacing, watching tv and waking my parents in a panic telling them i was going throw up, but never did. My mom decided i was having IBS with a panic attack. It was awful. It got to the point where i was scared to leave the house or be alone.
I finally bit the bullet, stopped taking the pills and moved away from home to Charleston, SC for school. I was very very happy there and in no time flat the IBS and anxiety disappeared completely during my entire three year stay there. Shortly after I moved back home, I started taking the pills again for polyscystic ovaries and all the symptoms started again except this time it was worse. I couldn't leave the house and developed a paralyzing fear of throwing up. This time when I stopped the pills, the ibs and anxiety never went away completely. For a few short years the symptoms went away when I was activley involved in a church that made me very very happy.
Unfortunately, I had to leave that church and ever since the anxiety and ibs come back from time to time. I can go from IBS-C at times to IBS-D, sometimes I will go normally in the AM and then get cramping and poop at night or later on but not full out D. I am pertrified of vomiting when the cramping starts and feel so alone. My parents don't really understand, though they try. I use levbid for pain which helps some but not always completely. I too fear leaving the house and going places, but am sometimes just as scared at home. A heating pad helps some, but it oftne won't stay hot long enough.
I currrently have a lot of stress in my life. My father has a terminal pulmonary disease and my mother has a broken foot. I am in a very difficult relationship as well. I have no siblings, really close friends I can rely on or husband. The doctor wants to put me on Lexapro but i am petrieid of nausea side effects and weight gain. I just lost 20pds and don't want to gain them back. the doc also gave me vailum, but am scared of side effects there too as well as being knocked out and having one of my parents need me.
I hate this "disease" it controls you even when you aren't sick. I wish i could afford hypnotherapy, but can't b/c im not working to be at home and help take care of my parents. Im so tired. Any advice anyone?