i have a problem. i have been on and off with tears for a bit now. i had another dr. appointment yesterday and once again, "everything is fine you just have IBS". so no Celiac, but i may just be sensitive to the gluten. so he told me that "if it upsets your stomach, stay away from it" [side note, he has a strange accent that i cannot mimic and it frustrates me, i used to learn how to do a different accent every year--for fun--and i cannot do his] but i feel like i have been more of the doctor than he has, i am the one asking for tests and trying to find out what does and doesn't work and trying very hard to be positive and stress free [impossible]. but he put me on a anti depressant [which made me depressed, so is this all in my head? and how come he can perscribe this?] and zelnorm--which is for constipation isn't? i poop too much, what the f? (Very sorry--i am just at the end of my rope)
so i think that maybe i am really depressed, i don't know what is bothering me so much. maybe because i have the capability of crapping my pants? maybe because i have a spreadsheet of what i eat, when i go, what stresses me out, what pain i am having, even what my goals are for that day? maybe because i spend more time crapping then i do doing anything else...
for some reason i cannot accept ibs into my life. i was told i had it while in college, but was given bentyl and told that it would go away--so i got some bad info. then again i was told it was ibs, given bentyl again and had no test done--so i thought i was being written off and shoved aside. now again yesterday he tells me it is ibs and starts writing me a script for bentyl and i screamed out NO--it doesn't work-- i don't want bentyl, i want to not hurt, not be starving, and be able to hold my poo long enough to get to a toilet without sprinting! and so he wrote out zelnorm and a "happy pill". i feel like i am being written off again.
i spoke a counsler i have a work--i needed to talk to someone-- and when my PCP's office opens i want to make an appointment to get another referral.
but i think my problem is that i can't handle something like this---i want control. i have been through a lot in life, bigger stuff than this, but for some reason it rips me apart to know that this is the way it is for the rest of my life. i am hopeless right now.
i love this forum, but i read all of your posts--and understand you and know that everyone of us feels the same but i haven't heard the hopelessness from anyone. how do i accept that i have ibs? did anyone go through this? and how did you get out of this hole?
what would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail?