OT: living in sin, anyone?

Wow, Sarita, already?
Did you finally get sick of that roommate of yours? 

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Co-Moderator for the IBS Forum

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Well, I can't tell you what to do, but if you feel it in your heart, and as long as it's not an implusive move, I say go for it. I'd say be patient, listen, follow your own goals and set plans, and learn to live and love each other. Does he live nearby?

Living in sin? Nah....! If so, then I have too w/ my pre-marital relationship!

I wish you lots of happiness Sarita. I see that Adam has been doing good for you healthwise. Thats wonderful.

I lived with my boyfriend (now husband) since I was 18. We had a son and 7 years later got married LOL. So I may be a little bias but I don't see anything wrong with it. It would be more about your individual beliefs. Just follow your heart and everything will fall into place. :)

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_{Hugs, Des}

_{Co-Moderator ~ IBS Forum}

_{~My reality check bounced}

 

 

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Woo hoo! Looks like Adam is not only impacting your heart, but your guts too. Hopefully the hospital trips are over.

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Co-Moderator for the IBS Forum

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Staurt and I were together almost 2 years before I moved in with him. I didn't really want to move in with because I really didn't want to live in Murfreesboro and work in Nashville and he had been wanting to move down to where I live, but things just didn't work out that way and it ended up that I was able to move up to be with him. I have to admit, I'm old-fashioned and the whole living together before marriage thing had me embarrassed (still am to some extent), but I was pining away for him during the weekdays (since we lived an hour and a half apart), and I just couldn't bear to be away from him any longer. So now I've been living with him a year and a couple of months now. No more pining (although I do resent time spent away from him because of work and a long commute). We'll be celebrating our third anniversary in February. I'm giving him until then to propose before I start nagging, lol. I've already been darkly joking about him ruining my virtue and me being a shamed woman and all that. I'm ready to be married. Been ready since a couple of months after we started dating, lol. The thing I worry about the most is marrying our finances, even though he's pretty level-headed and has no debt other than a house. I may have to be in control of the bank account since I like to track everything and think about money and plan ahead (like years at a time, lol).

It took some time for me to be comfortable around Stuart, mainly because I hadn't been around a man before. I was all self-conscious, holding in farts, that sort of thing (I'm still a discreet pooter). But if you and Adam are relaxed around each other already, then you should be okay moving in together. Just keep your fianances completely separate. No joint accounts of any kind, no co-signing loans. Whatever place you get, make sure you can afford it on your own or can afford it long enough to get a roomie or can get out of it if you end up stuck with it. Don't co-buy anything you would hate to lose in a "divorce." All that sounds ugly when love and trust is involved, but I'm a child of divorce and Stuart's been divorced (and frequently laments something of his that disappeared in the supposedly equitable divorce settlement), so there's no harm in being cautious. Marriage first, password to my bank account second, lol.

I feel for you with the roommate thing. My best friend in college and I were roommates until our spring semester our sophmore year, then she fell completely apart. Not that she was all together to being with, mind you, but in hindsight I can see that she was probably bi-polar. I lasted longer than any of her other friends, but at a year and a half, that's not such a good track record. She threw away a perfectly good guy who would have been so good for her if she would have just let go and listened to him and let him do what was best for her. She wasn't stable enough to be in charge of herself. He happened to be named Adam as well. Must be a trait associated with that name. Like the fact that an unusually high proportion of dentists are named "Dennis", lol.

Hey girl. Here's my relationship story. When I was 19 my now hubby and I were both forced to vacate our homes and moved in together after knowing each other for a real short time. 17 years of marriage later we're doing great. I think sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. I really hope it works out for you two Sarita, that would be so awesome. Take care of yourself and I wish you the bestest

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Take care, Softy

Yeehaw, it's fun!  Adam does the dishes (score!) on a regular basis while I usually am the one to cook (and he remembers to compliment my food, big bonus).  We bought a positively gargantuan English Ivy plant that is like our child.  We are both just the right amount of neat-freak mixed with occasional slovenliness.  He loves the cats.  We've been cross-country skiing several nights and the other nights we head to the gym and he helps me hone my four-pack  while I try to make him laugh while he's doing the plank on the floor.  Yes, life is good.  Of course, I've also noticed his bizarre idiosyncracies, like how ADHD he is with music in the car; the man can't listen to more than one song on a CD before changing it!  I give him some good-natured crap about that; at least he can laugh at himself.  Then we had a "discussion" the other night after I witnessed his first major mood swing (origin difficult to pinpoint, but we figured it out eventually) and when I called him on it, he actually stepped up to the plate and apologized for acting like a toddler.  I was pretty impressed by that.

So yes, it continues to go well, I just wonder...not everyone is as optimistic as you have been (there are some severely damaged goods up here in Alaska, and I know several of them!) and they have me chewing my nails, despite my best intentions not to, about where it will end up.  "Oh, you moved too quickly," or "Oh, just wait another two months, you'll see." I haven't had a real relationship for so long, this is very eye-opening!  Can you guys relate some stories about living together?  Tell me some things that have driven you crazy and some things that you can't live without in your relationship. 

Hey Sarita -
I am 31 and moved in with my boyfriend (now husband) when I was pregnant. He is the anal retentive one and obsessed if I so much left a glass on the coffee table for more than an hour. If I weren't pregnant, I probably wouldn't have stuck it thru! Finally I just realized that if you're a slob you can't force your clean counterpart to be sloppy too. Everyone will psycho analyze your relationship because they don't have anything better to do! You just have to decide what you can live with personality wise and don't let their idiosincracies (sp?) get to you. EVERYONE has their annoying habits! I'd say the most important trick to making it work is to compromise when it really isn't THAT important to you.