Posted 7/21/2018 2:06 PM (GMT -6)
It all started one night, while riding through a patch of the boonies in Massachusetts 16 years ago, I had a sudden urge to go #3 (#1 - pee #2 - poop #3 - figure it out lol), so anyway, I was holding it for seems like forever & I started a panic attack, because I had to go BAD, it was dark & I wasn't goin outside at night. Luckily, a grocery store was 15 min away, held it in til then & went in their bathroom. 4 years later, was at a park, there was a porta potty 30 feet away, it was a normal bowel movement, but big, so there I went again, havin a panic attack on the grass. I couldn't walk home, couldn't walk to the porta potty, had to go in the bushes 4 feet behind me. So ever since those 2 incidents, and 1 or 2 more, I have this huge fear of places either not having bathrooms or walking to one & worrying I'm not going to be able to make it. I just came home from a week at the beach, & I stayed in the beach house mostly while my entire inlaws, wife & son had fun at the beach. I did walk to the beach on Thursday, braved myself up for it, which is 7 minutes from the beach house, & there are no bathrooms on the way there, nor near our normal beach area. It was either 7 minutes up hill while holding it in or 10 minutes to the beach bathrooms. I sat on a beach chair for 11 minutes until I walked home nervous about a bathroom not being nearby So I said to myself I had enough of this fear, I know I'm not alone, so I found this forum. I do not have IBS, or any kinda poop disorder. I tried the Immodium thing years ago, it worked but left me constipated. Is there a name for this kinda fear? Like..poopbowlmilephobia or something? I do go to a psychiatrist , & got on some anti anxiety, anti depression meds, but don't seem to be helping in this particular area. I'm fine with places that have bathrooms, just if a bathroom is a distance away, or if I'm riding in a car through a patch of Montana boonies, I get anxious, but not as bad as walking.