My story

I am new to these forums and I would just like to start by thanking all the support everyone gives to each other. Its very touching.

I am 17 year old male that has been suffering from IBS for the past 2 years. When I was little I was very happy and active and played tons of sports. After my parents Divorce when i was 10, I stopped all sports and slowly started to get more and more depressed. It turns out my biological dad was not the dad that i knew my whole life, he left before i was born. To this day ive never met him or talked to him. After this,  rage took over and I went to counseling many times. 1 Year ago when I was 16 my gardes were horrible and it was finals for my high school. During the finals I had this intense erge to go the bathroom. Because they dont let you go to the bathroom at my school I had to fight my way there and it was very very embarrassing (not to mention the bathrooms are dirty.) Thinking this was a fluke, the next day i go to school and the same thing happens. This time I diddnt make it and I had to ditch school and run home. Thankfully no one knew what was going on and thought I just ditched because I diddnt want to take the test. This was the worst day of my life, and I went into shock for hours just laying in bed shaking and crying. I spent the whole summer going to IBS group things and counseling and I thought I was ready to face the next year of school, and I was wrong. For the whole first half of school I went to the bathroom every day because of IBS and it killed me inside. I would wake up in the morning and almost start to cry because I was scared of going to school. Over the past year I gained alot of wieght from stress and had failing grades. After about 4 months I became so depressed that I was thinking of dropping out. Then we came along something called Charter school and for those who dont know its like normal school but most the work is done at home and you only go to school twice a week for two hours. This worked great!!! I was doing all the work and getting a ton of A's and not once did I have to go to the bathroom yet. But the fear is still there and always was, its been 2 months going twice a week to this school and I havent had one problem but the fear is so deeply embedded in me so it is still a great struggle. So now that the IBS is better, My self confidence is so low that Im scared to do anything. I never even go out side without a jacket on, even if its in the 90's. Its gotten really bad.

Anyway Im writing this because I have lost all my friends from my old school and I have no one to talk to. I have never told anyone this and would like to get it off my chest. I have no self confidence in myself and I just sit in my room every day alone and do my work. The funny thing is, is that i dont get lonely sitting here, i just get depressed. Im to scared to meet new people and to lazy to explore the world. Although my grades are really good now I feel worthless and alone. Ive been really down lately about not having a girl friend at any point in my life. I guess you could say I had alot of friends in my old school but now I ignore phone calls from them because I dont want to talk to them and as a result Ive seem to have lost all my friends.

So here I am at 5:30am about to go to my new school and ive been up all night. I havent had any sleep and im so tired emotionally and im holding it all inside. It was time to bring it out

Thank you for listening to me and I feel better just knowing that people know more about me. I could go on for hours but maybe thats for another day...

Hi LaosSmith. Wow, I wish I could just give you a great big hug. When I was 8 my parents divorced and I was also adopted so I know the pain of no father. I also have IBS and have not made it to the toilet a few times and share your humiliation. Believe it or not, it happens to ALOT of people. It's just not talked about.

I'm concerned about your friend situation. Girlfriends can wait but some male friends to hang out with would help. Do you have any hobbies? Maybe reach out to someone at your charter school when you go in person.

As Des said, there is lots of help out there, medical and natural. Please talk to somebody about this.

Keep in touch and let us know how you're doing.

Since you're about to get ready for college applications and all, you may want to consider a career in medicine. There are all sorts of levels out there, from nurse's aid to paramedic to 911 dispatcher to nurse to physician's assistant and then doctor. All of them have different level of schooling and different academic demands, so if you are interested in it, you can find whatever level you are comfortable with achieving.

Why a career in medicine? One, you can sympathize with people who have chronic problems and that right there gives you a good bedside manner. Two, you get so used to everyone else's poop, pus, blood and gory bits that you don't think twice about your own. Three, you are most likely to meet someone of the opposite sex where you work and there you have someone ready-made to understand your particular problems and not be turned off or insensitive. Not to mention hospitals have bathrooms EVERYWHERE!

Just something to think about when you wonder what to do with yourself after high school. Even if you don't think a career in medicine is where you want to go, you might consider candy-striping at a local hospital for a summer job to get some of those same benefits. Candy-stripers basically go around delivering people's flowers and mail and gopher and visit lonely people and that sort of thing. Sometimes just talking to someone else about their problems makes you feel not so bad about your own, or even puts them in perspective (the "it could be worse" line of thought).

Oh, and I sympathize with the jacket wearing. When I first got my period, I was always worried about bleeding through my clothing and I'd claim I was cold and wear my jacket around inside at school. I can't remember what I did when it was too warm for one. Luckily the hottest weather was when school was out and I wasn't quite as paranoid when I was away from school. But I did learn how to dress discreetly when it was nearing "that time". One, black pants (or shorts). You can't show anything in black pants. Two, long tops. They work the same as a jacket in that they cover your rear end so that if you do have an accident and you're not wearing black pants, no one will see. If you wear a t-shirt under an Oxford, you can also take your Oxford off and tie it around your waist to hide your backside. That doesn't seem to be out of style. Jeans are good because the denim is so thick and heavy that it takes longer for something to seep through to the outside of them. Try those things instead of a jacket for the summertime and see if you don't worry less (and are a lot less hot!). Oh, and make sure you wear briefs or boxer briefs, not boxers, since they will help "contain" things better if you do have another accident.

But I think the longer you go without having an accident and you get used to having an accessible bathroom (and you access it in a timely manner!), the less this will worry you. Believe it or not, most people have had an accident at least once. Me, it was when I had taken a laxative and let's just say it worked a little TOO well. A lot of people get food posioning or stomach flu so bad they mess themselves then. It's something everyone's embarrassed to admit, but be assured you're not alone.