Thanks for the support on my first post. I read it and took it all to heart :). Its been a few months and I would just like to say I think I have my IBS undercontrol. Although I still go everyone morning, I havent had a problem at school for a long time but I still stress about IBS daily.... and its hard emotionaly. My ibs seems to be getting better, my social life hasnt. My self confidence is at an all time low..... sometimes i dont even go out to dinner because I dont want people to look at it me. The few friends I do have I only talk to online, I dont like to hang out because Im so self conscious it just makes things unenjoyable. Im not a sad person really, I love to joke and have a good time and is very kind at heart, just I dont open up because Im scared of getting hurt (quite the cliche). I feel worthless but full of life at the same time, its driving me insane . Its really starting to hurt me because Im scared to death of college, im really really scared of it.... but i have to go. Im worried my fears are going to control my life (they have so far), and everyday I wait, it just builds up and gets harder. Is this normal to feel this way as a 17 year old? I feel the answer is yes but why are my peers having a great time threw life and living it up, while im at home scared to go outside because I dont want to be seen.
Well I have to urge to delete all this because its kinda embarrassing, so I might as well wrap this up. Its really hard because I know my cure, I know what I need. I need a girlfriend to share my emotions with and to open up to. I feel if i had this my life would be complete.... but im not letting myself do this, I feel like I cant do this, and im getting worried.