Like Hopeforme mentioned, you need to find a good doc. You need a doc that will listen and be determined to find out what your problem is. Having to run to the toilet up to 40 times in 2 days IS NOT OK. That should only happen if you are prepping for a scope. So much pain and D is not common with IBS. Neither is loosing total control (although it can occasionally happen with IBS).
You might want to try a whole bunch of things like yogurt, probiotics, fiber, calcium and diet change. You might even consider, if you haven't already, consulting the IBD boards (Crohn's and/or Ulcerative Colitis). But first and foremost, you need to find a doc that will listen.
I'm sorry you are going through all this. Hang in there...
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