Hi... it's been awhile.
I need help. You see, about one year ago, I discovered Imodium... which has been very kind to me. However, last summer... 6 months ago... I also discovered that if I drink alcohol before and during my dinner, I was 99% for sure not going to have D that night. I don't know why.. I have medical knowledge as a background, and all info indicates this should not be so. The only reasonable answer I can derive is that my intestines are slowed down by it, as it is a depressant. I could be very wrong.
Anyways, so in the last 6 months I have not gone more than 2 nights in a row without drinking. Not enough to get drunk, but a few glasses of red wine, or 2 beers, and I'm set to be D-free for the night. The thing is, I do not want to drink. I am so sick of it. Tonight, I started to write this post and then was struck by D with a force I've not seen in months. I went to the bathroom, got it over with, drank 2 beer, and now I sit before you, a D-free woman. It kills me though. My liver is going to suffer so my intestines can leave me alone. I'm not addicted to the alcohol, yet I'm addicted to not needing pills to get me through the day. I'm addicted to knowing that if I just have 2 drinks, I'll be able to breathe easy all night. I hate this. So very much.
Please help me. I need something supportive. I went 2 days last week without alcohol and it was great. I really don't want to drink at all, but am I being doomed to a life where I either take 2 Imodium every few days, and then deal with C for a week; or do I continue drinking 2 drinks a night to survive this terrible disorder?
Worst post ever. I didn't want to write it, but it's driving me mad. I don't even drink enough to get drunk, yet I know within myself that this is terrible. Why is it working this way for me? Then... is Imodium any better for my body than a few drinks?
Thanks for listening.