So sorry you are having such a hard time. If you haven't already done so, please click on the link at the end of my signature titled "lupus resources". One of the posts in that topic includes a list of suggestions written by our members here and may be quite helpful to you.
1) You nailed it . . . we all find a good rhythm for pacing which works for us. This pacing needs to be adjusted when we flare and is probably our best non-rx tool in reducing the number of flares and the severity of flares.
2) gums? I'm not much help here, but my sister has receeding gum-line due to meds and her doctor told her to make sure she gets extra vitamin C. Also, if you aren't taking a saliva inducing med, you might talk to your doc and consider it. Salagen really helped improve my dental appointments. It makes more saliva, although the quality of the saliva is not as good as normal saliva, it is still very helpful.
4. make sure to read the link I recommended above.
I hope this helps a little . . . some of the others will likely have better help for No. 2.
Sending you some hot tea and a gentle hug.
In His Grip
AlwaysRosie "We can't control the waves, but we can learn how to surf!!"
Co-Moderator - Lupus Forum
UCTD, Hashimotos, Inflammatory Bowel, Inflammatory Arthritis
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