Clickable: LUPUS INFORMATION & LUPUS RESOURCES.
Co-Moderator: Lupus and CFS Forums
Oh (hippi), bless your heart. I was fortunate enough to not get sick until my son was grown so I can't answer your question but I do want to tell you something. I've been fortunate enough to get to know you a little bit and I can guarentee you that you are Very involved in your childrens life. Somtimes it doesn't feel like it because you have to get some rest but, you take your kids to the lupus walk. you got to the games. even holding your little girl when she is sick and driving your son clear accrossed the country to get the help he needs is being involved.
Your kids are lucky. They could have a drunken druggie that couldn't give to hoots about her kids! God knows there are enough of them out there. There are people out there that work 80 hours a week and yes they have money but they have no relationship with their kids. and their kids would much rather throw a football than get an occasional phone call from their parents who are too busy working. I have seen you put your health on the back burner so your kids could have a nice vacation. Some parents don't ever take their kids on vacation.
Sick or not sick we can't always do all the things we want to for our kids. Kids are very understanding and as they get older they will appreciate everything you have done for them. I'm sure they have a pretty good idea by now.
Don't make long term plans. You never can tell if you will be up to it. Try spur of the moment things on your good days. Take pictures talk to them. Kids don't need that much. They need to know that they are loved and I know your kids already know that.
You didn't ask for this disease but you have it. You need to get rest. and yes when you have sick kids you stay up with them no matter how you feel. That just goes with the territory. Your daughter wants to be close to you when she is sick because she nows she is loved. You've done a great job. enjoy the good times. Trust me all parents look back and wish we had done more or something different. 30 years from now you will be setting in your rocker lol saying I wish I had done this or that but hey we do the best we can.
So stop kicking your self girl and thank God for the good days. as a matter of fact you are such a good mom I was wondering if you would be interested in adopting me??????????
In His Grip
AlwaysRosie "We can't control the waves, but we can learn how to surf!!"
Co-Moderator - Lupus Forum
UCTD, Hashimotos, Inflammatory Bowel, Inflammatory Arthritis
Clickable Links: Lupus Resources Lupous.Org Lupus Criteria (4 of 11) Lupus Chapter Locator
Oh hippimom...your post made me cry!First of all - don't take a trip you didn't pay for (guilt trip).
I have a son that is a senior in college and a daughter who is a senior in high school. My son has ADHD, OCD and ODD. Why am I telling you that?Because early on I had to learn that you make the best decisions you can and do what you can and let the rest go. I think that applies to alot of areas in life. (By the way, he's doing fine - on the dean's list. Just didn't know if either one of us was going to survive his childhood! LOL)
I'm already panicking because my son's graduation ceremony is four hours away...I need to plan two graduation parties...and all with that "what if" cloud hanging overhead. What if I'm in a flare, what if I have a migraine, what if I'm exhausted. What if? I'll do it anyway...just like you do with your kids.
I'm a business analyst by day. I work eight hours and drive 1.5 hours a day. By night, I'm a photographer. Guess who's senior pictures aren't done yet? My daughter's. Can't seem to schedule a time when I'm not hurting or exhausted. She's not complaining about it. We got the one done for her yearbook and she knows we will finish them...it might be spur of the moment - but we'll do it.
We moms put so much pressure on ourselves...and we set ourselves up to fail on a daily basis...add to that being a "sick mom"...and we REALLY do a number on ourselves.
Here's the thing I can tell you for sure. Your kids are learning compassion, and acceptance and patience. Along with a WHOLE bunch of other things that are important in life like treasuring the little things, enjoying time with their families and learning to help others. Not to mention strength and courage.
Kids will surprise you. They are very intuitive...and, if you let them, they can help more than you know. They are going to remember the times you played with them and held them when they are sick. Not that you picked them up from school or practice every day, or had to sit in the shade to watch them play. They will remember that they looked over and you were there for them.
Hope this helps...
I understand how you feel. I have a five year old and I started really getting sick about the time she was 3. I feel robbed of two years because I spent most of them in the hospital while doctors finally figured out what was wrong with me. Kids understand more than we think. I think we are often tougher on ourselves. I try to take it one day at a time and do as much as I can. Trust me kids are very kind and loving anbd they understand more than we often give them credit for.