Oh hippimom...your post made me cry!
First of all - don't take a trip you didn't pay for (guilt trip).
I have a son that is a senior in college and a daughter who is a senior in high school. My son has ADHD, OCD and ODD. Why am I telling you that?
Because early on I had to learn that you make the best decisions you can and do what you can and let the rest go. I think that applies to alot of areas in life. (By the way, he's doing fine - on the dean's list. Just didn't know if either one of us was going to survive his childhood! LOL)
I'm already panicking because my son's graduation ceremony is four hours away...I need to plan two graduation parties...and all with that "what if" cloud hanging overhead. What if I'm in a flare, what if I have a migraine, what if I'm exhausted. What if? I'll do it anyway...just like you do with your kids.
I'm a business analyst by day. I work eight hours and drive 1.5 hours a day. By night, I'm a photographer. Guess who's senior pictures aren't done yet? My daughter's. Can't seem to schedule a time when I'm not hurting or exhausted. She's not complaining about it. We got the one done for her yearbook and she knows we will finish them...it might be spur of the moment - but we'll do it.
We moms put so much pressure on ourselves...and we set ourselves up to fail on a daily basis...add to that being a "sick mom"...and we REALLY do a number on ourselves.
Here's the thing I can tell you for sure. Your kids are learning compassion, and acceptance and patience. Along with a WHOLE bunch of other things that are important in life like treasuring the little things, enjoying time with their families and learning to help others. Not to mention strength and courage.
Kids will surprise you. They are very intuitive...and, if you let them, they can help more than you know. They are going to remember the times you played with them and held them when they are sick. Not that you picked them up from school or practice every day, or had to sit in the shade to watch them play. They will remember that they looked over and you were there for them.
Hope this helps...
SLE: 07/07, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, migraines
400 mg. plaquenil, 25 mg. prednisone, 2400 mg. ibuprofin, 15 mg. methotrexate, folic acid, asacol, caltrate-D, wellbutrin, paxil