I have a favorite saying on this site: you are the expert on you...
If you aren't satisfied with the answers (or non-answers) you are getting, you need to push the issue - and if the doc doesn't respond, he/she isn't worth your time, money or energy.
I am very lucky - I have a PCP that I dearly love...and once I started having additional symptoms, he moved very quickly to figure out what was going on. He is also not one that makes you feel stupid when you talk to him. I have panic disorder also - so he has had his hands full with me!
As far as family history... This is what I can share from my experience:
I have a half sister - we share our mom. My sister has RA really, really bad...I have lupus. Our mother died 12 years ago. She had problems with her shoulder...they called it a frozen shoulder. We wonder if she had RA or another auto-immune problem that went undiagnosed. So family history does play into it. I had told my PCP the family history about my sister - so when my symptoms escalated, he honed in on them and my sister's RA and started the testing process.
It was a relief to be diagnosed. It's a very frustrating disease tho.
I would suggest getting copies of your lab results so you can see what tests you had and the accompanying results. I get copies of all my tests so I can track what is going on.
SLE: 07/07, Irritable Bowel Syndrome, migraines
400 mg. plaquenil, 25 mg. prednisone, 2400 mg. ibuprofin, 15 mg. methotrexate, folic acid, asacol, caltrate-D, wellbutrin, paxil