I don't have any experience with Cyclosporin, but I'm pretty sure others here do. I hope they drop you a line.
Whether it's chemo or any other drug we have to take, it is hard to wrap your head around what you're putting into your body. I had trouble in the beginning too. I have a lot of anxiety when I have to add a new medication to my regime. Your feelings are valid Chaya. It's scary and frustrating. I also feel like my body has betrayed me. Chronic illness = great loss. It's okay to feel what you are feeling. Grieving is important. I don't think we allow ourselves that grieving time, do we? We're smacked upside the head with everything we now have to do, take, not do, not take, adjust our schedules, change our lifestyles - who has time to grieve?! And we're supposed to limit stress!!! PLEASE!! Give me a break. I have more stress NOW, then I did during the 10 years leading up to my diagnosis. Does this ring a bell for you too?
I am allowing more peace into my life. My faith helps me with that. We all need to figure out what it is that gives us that peace of mind, body, soul. Sometimes it takes a while, sometimes it comes quick.
So, I'm rambling now. I'll stop. Sorry. I hope someone can help you with your question about the bone marrow. Just please know you're not alone in how you are feeling. There's a whole forum here who recognizes what it is you're going through. We're here for you,
Oh, the "thumb' is an icon that you can change, at the top of the screen when you're writing a posting. There are a bunch you can choose from. Yours was set to the "thumb"!
I can do anything through Jesus Christ who strengthens me. I have learned in whatever state I am in,to be content. Phillipians 4:11-13
33 years old. Diagnosed with lupus in 2000. Fibromyalgia, anti-phospholipid syndrome(APS)(stroke),Sjogren's, Raynaud's, seizure disorder-(miraclulously disappeared!), Libman Sach's Endocarditis, vasculitis, sacroiliitis, arthritis (neck) . Prednisone, Imuran, Coumadin, Clobazam, Amitriptyline, didrocal, monopril, calcium, Cykolokapron, multi-vitamin, vitamin D, Magnesium, vitamin B6, Acidophilus