Given the test results it is not all in your head, or at least not the way that requires mental health professionals. I think you need another neurologist, one who is willing to search for answers about the lesions. Also I would get the tests the hemotologist wanted done. You need to have full blood work done checking for everything and anything.
As for a rheumetologist exam, it varies by doctor but mine took a full history, examined all my joints, did x-rays, ordered blood work, asked questions, looked at my hair, skin, and nails. But she knew what was wrong with me by my history, pictures I took of rashes, and the visable swelling in my finger joints that was accompanied by redness and heat.
I suggest you seek out someone who is willing to look until they find an answer instead of accepting that they do not know why.
Dx:fibromyalgia 2002, systematic lupus 2005, rheumatoid arthritis 2006, PTSD 2007, multiple allergies 2005, migraine, compression fractures T11 & T12, Sjögren's, pregnant due May 2008
Tx: plaquenil, Enbrel, Darvocet, Singulair, Flexeril, Baby Asprin,Prednisone, Imuran, Procardia