My blood sugar was a little high on the 1 hour test. I had so much trouble keeping the glucose drink down even with an anti-nausea pill the regular OB said he just wants me to test my blood sugar twice a day. I see the high risk specialist Wednesday and that means he will gloat but also that he will do to me what he does to other women- force a 3 hour test and when I puke make me keep trying again until I hold it down. If I refuse he will cut off all my prenatal care. He will also do another cervical exam and I am still bruised inside from the last one. He hates women, I know he does because he takes sadistic pleasure in verbally abusing and casuing physical pain. The regular OB's nurse said none of the high risk women like him- that everyone who is forced to see him hates it. I just want to hide. I can't stop crying because I only know part of how he will use this to punish me for daring to be female, let alone daring to want a child. I am afraid he will insist I have the baby now. I know how bad that would be but he seems to think that making a woman have her baby early and making it have all the inherent problems of prematurity is not only okay but is to be encouraged as a method of punishing a woman for trying to have a baby when there was a chance of complications. The man is evil and sadistic. I don't know what I will do about prenatal care if he tries to say I have to be induced now. I know I won't let him, but when I refuse I will lose access to my regular OB thanks to hospital policy. The only other hospital in the area close enough has a really bad record and cannot be trusted with anyone's life. I am very afraid for my baby. This man would purposely do something that would irreversably harm my child if he thought he could get away with it. I cannot stand him, yet I am supposed to allow him to abuse me or face having no doctor for the rest of the pregnancy. I tried to get to see someone else in his practice. It worked once, the next time he saw me I suffered greatly for having asked not to see him. All I want is to not have to see him. It is too upsetting. It is too stressful, and the truth is I am afraid of him. My husband refuses to leave me alone with him, which makes him angry from the word go but we both get the feeling it would be worse if hubby weren't there. The one time I tried to stand up to him he threatened me with a lack of prenatal care. Saying I was welcome to try and find an OB to handle my case but it wouldn't be at his hospital. Which translates do what I want and take eveything I dish out or you can go without a doctor your entire pregnancy unless you want to drive a few hours for prenatal visits.
I am sorry to go on like this but I am so afraid of Wednesday. I hate feeling helpless and afraid just because I have to see the doctor. When this pregnancy is over I am filing a complaint.
Dx:fibromyalgia 2002, systematic lupus 2005- definate CNS involvement dxed late 2005, psoriasis 2006, rheumatoid arthritis 2006, PTSD 2007, multiple allergies 2005, migraine, compression fractures T11 & T12, Sjögren's, damaged periphrial nerves 2007, pregnant due May 2008
Tx: plaquenil, Enbrel, Darvocet, Singulair, Flexeril, Baby Asprin, Imuran, Procardia, Prilosec