Posted 3/20/2008 12:49 PM (GMT -7)
Ok so I went to my local nephrologist on Tuesday ( I don't see my Transplant Nephrologist until April), and when I asked her opinion (again) on getting pregnant this time she said that it would be 100% risky to both me and the baby if I were to get pregnant. When she told me this it was very hard to keep a calm demeanor. Inside I was so absolutely upset. It had always been my hope that I would be able to get pregnant and give birth to my own baby. And up until now most of my doctors have been very optimistic that I could get pregnant, carry and give birth, but now more and more of the doctors are telling me that it's too risky for me to get pregnant let alone carry a baby. Even two of my docs before (neurologist and PCP) were telling me that it was not a good idea, as long as my nephrologists said that it was still ok then I would have at least still tried, but now I know that I cannot get pregnant without endangering my health. And with an disease like ours we are less likely if not told out right that we can not adopt. So now if my hubby and I want a baby of our own, the only thing we can do is surrogacy. And unfortunately our insurance just like all insurance companies will not pay for IVF or provide medical coverage for the surrogate woman.
When I found all of this out, my mom happened to call and with me being so upset I just started crying into the phone (I never tell my mom this kind of stuff because I don't want her to worry because we are so far away from each other) and I explained to her what was going on and she insisted that she will be our surrogate and if we need to she and my dad would take out a loan against their house to pay for the IVF. God bless her wonderful heart, and unfortunately she WILL NOT take no for an answer and neither will my dad ( he is just as adament, that we do this as she is). So they are going to talk to the docs to make sure that she is healthy enough to do it. I think its crazy and in my heart it would be wonderful, but I don't want anything to happen to my mom, I would die if something happened to her. but she said she wants me and my hubby to have our family, and my dad said if this is what we have to do to have kids, then they are in it 110%. Now don't get me wrong my mom is 43 and in absolutely perfect health. The only thing she had a problem with was allergies this summer/fall.
Sorry this is so long but I really needed to get it out and I need advice from people who are not so emtionally envolved, basically people outside of my immediate family circle. So I turn to my lupie family. Any advice would be so wonderful.
Hugs and prayers, If it was easy being a lupie,
~Suzanne~ the whole world would be one
diagnosed in May '95 with lupus nephritis, hypertension, hypothyroidism, avascular necrosis (knee) '98, kidney transplant April '06, pseudo-cerebral tumor '07, AVN ankles and hips '07
prednisone, cellcept, prograf, lopressor, allopurinol, synthroid, diamox, OsCal +D, lunesta, celexa, percocet for pain