I understand completely. I was homeless for three years waiting for disability and my sister wouldn't let me stay in the empty house that she owned by stealing my half ownership/inheritance to it and throwing my parents out. My mother would sneak me into the house and let me stay and she would have the neighbors call the real estate agent on me and I was even awakened by the police. She paid a woman to clean the house through my mother, who gave me the money and I did the work without my sister's knowledge. I apparently was not good enough to even clean it. In the end, her and her husband forced my mom out by making her life miserable every day (she had a lifetime lease to the property) and my mother was so hurt and didn't want to sacrifice the relationship with my sister (her daughter) that she moved out into a really bad trailer park (upon seeing which, my sister remarked "how can you stand living here? it such an embarassment. I never thought MY mother would live in a trailer."). My mother lives on $600/month social security before deductions for medicare and is only eligible for 10 dollars of food stamps. Its disgusting. She moved in with her boyfriend, who has become kind of abusive, but what can she do.
Anyway, my sister and her husband sold the property at a huge profit (about
600,000 profit) and gave nothing to me or my parents, no reimbursement for my mom's lifetime lease or my inheritance. She remarked to my father, who was disgusted, "just consider it a contribution to my kids college fund". Meanwhile, I was homeless living in my dad's boat, which is not glamourous, with my minor son, who does not have a college fund. My dad said to my sister, "what about
my other grandkids college funds?" My sister hung up in anger. She is a devout Catholic and does missionary work and is a nurse who works with AIDs and HIV pregnant women at the time.
Well fate caught up with her. Her husband took the profit from the house and mortgaged their house to the hilt and bought and refurbished a condo in Costa Rica, then told her that he'd been seeing another woman with another child. He drained all their assets, bankrupted all his businesses which she sat on the board of directors for, and left her with a huge mortgaged house, no money, and their sixteen year old daughter. He stopped paying for his college age kids college and living expenses and filed for an annullment so he could still attend the same Catholic church, where he bad mouthed her successfully to everyone there. I believe she left.
Disgustingly, my parents pitied my sister and ran to her defense, though I was still homeless with my minor child and very ill with lupus. My sister's actions impact on me was largely unnoticed. I was to blame for my situation. My parents were supposed to file for my private disability from work, which would have paid me 100,000 for two years and half that for a few more and then 25 or 30 pct for the rest of my life. They were too busy with "social obligations" to get the paperwork in and I was too sick to do it myself. So really, my bankruptcy, foreclosure, and homelessness where in some ways their doing.
Humans do not surprise me. My chihuahua is laying on her back in bed, with the covers around her chest and paws curled over them like a person, watching me type this. She's amazing. These little dogs are so bright and human like. My main girl, Goldie, uses her eyes to talk to me, looks at me then the door or window to go out. And if I don't understand what she wants, she presses her forehead against mine and thinks real hard, as if she is trying somehow to get that thought from her head to mine.
Well, I hope things get better. If your sis is stressful and the other woman, I would avoid them when possible. That's been my strategy and it has worked out okay. If they wonder why you are being politely distant, then you can breach the unfairness if you want, or otherwise, just make an excuse. I just say I've been really tired.
You have so much to deal with, I think you are amazing, doing all you do and having such an active life and helping others who fall through the cracks in such a personal way. I love London, and miss it, though people can be cold compared to the southern United States, where everyone is so so friendly. I understand it is becoming more like the US in a bad way every day, less help for all people, less of a feeling of responsibilty on the part of the government for the welfare and care of the people and less restraints. You are in the UK, right?
Well, take care and I hope you feel better. My little heating pad (Goldie) is waiting for me to pet her. I want to post pictures somewhere, she is so funny looking. She's like an extension of me. I'm sure you feel the same way about
your little sweeties.
--Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us. Bill Watterson (1958-) cartoonist "Calvin and Hobbes"
Ills--Sjogrens-Lupus-like AI Disease, Hashis, Vitiligo, spinal stenosis/fusion with plate, salivary/lymphectomies, Diabetes, NAFLD, COPD, RLS, neuropathy, trigonitis, hystero, diffuse brain atrophy, GI nightmare
Meds--Plaquenil, Evoxac, Metformin, Synthroid, HCTZ, Estradiol patch, Prosed, Detrol, Klonopin, Ultram, Vicodin, Restasis, Albuterol, steroid injections and pred prn