I am so sorry you lost your baby. The pain will never go away, I know. But it gets easier and its ok to think about the what might have beens. I, too, have lupus, diagnosed after 2 healthy daughters, a son stillborn with strep B, a dx of APA, high anti strep antibodies, and a fight for a reason for 5 eight week miscarriages. Finally, a dx of anticardiolipin antibody syndrome, way back before it was known as antiphospholipid antibody syndrome: APS. My immunologist and an infertility specialist I saw in NYC, both said had I been treated after the first miscarriage, my odds would have been greater. I had high antibody levels. As it was explained to me, antiphospholipid antibodies are large, and they circulate in a mother's blood stream, until the placenta is formed, when they literally are too large to fit through the tiny blood vessels in the growing placenta, cause larger and larger areas of the placenta to infarct, and the baby fails to thrive, and then is miscarried. The tx for me was heparin, prednisone and baby aspirin but I was found to have intrauterine group B strep and staph and became septic, and I was finally given no chance of carrying a healthy baby to term. So,when I turned 40, I gave up trying. I was so determined to have another child no matter what God said, and truly felt that if I got pregnant just ONE more time....... it was a chance. I have two daughters both struggling with infertility, one with endometriosis and one who had a miscarriage in July, and because of my hx, went right to a reproductive endocrinologist high risk OB and was given a prophylactic baby aspirin (which acts as an antiplatelet anticoagulant, that causes platelets to be less sticky) and who is now 22 weeks pregnant with a healthy baby girl named Avery.Thank God. My son would have been 20 on July 19th. Please find a dr. who is willing to order every blood test available on the face of the planet for you. The specialist told me the antibodies can disappear over time and recommended regular blood checks. Since I was dx. with lupus after a positive ANA, my immunologist does blood work every 6 months and I am on a baby aspirin and prednisone 5mg every day or I can't walk because of ataxia and muscle weakness. I am so sorry for your sadness, and I know how much you and the baby's daddy wanted that baby. After my son's loss at 20 weeks, I went to Share, a monthly support group for people who lost children through miscarriage or neonatal loss. It helped me immensely, and I am nurse who had a big support network to start with. Hugs and prayers for comfort for you and your family,
God knows, even if I don't....
CNS Lupus 2005, APS
Meds: Plaquenil, Neurontin, Thyroid, Voltaren, Aspirin, Atenolol and Norvasc, Prednisone prn.