I'm seeing a new mental health doctor on Tuesday. Many of you know the near death experience I had last summer. The trauma my body went through, and is still going through from that anyphalactic medication allergy I had.
So, I can't get the memories of what happened out of my head. I think about what happened pretty much every day. Even when I'm totally consumed in another activity, the feelings, complications, events from the hospital and recovery at home - all swarm back. I feel attacked and plagued by these memories. They all seem so fresh and real and scary. The feelings I have are as though I'm reliving what happened. It's horrible. I cry every day. I just told my husband that a few weeks ago. He didn't know the struggles I've been having while he's at work. I'm too good at hiding my real feelings.
I talked to my family doctor about it a couple of weeks ago. She thinks it's very possible I have post traumatic stress disorder. She made me make an appointment with the psychologist. I didn't have a choice. Probably a good thing.
Even my stroke from 2002 didn't affect me the way this has. Not even close. Has anyone else dealt with PTSD? Oh Geez, I'm listening to the radio right now and the song, "Leave Virginia Alone" by Rod Stewart just came on. (My full name is Virginia for those who don't know). I want this attack on my psyche to "leave me alone". What an ironic song to have come on right now....
Thanks for listening guys. I need help. I have a problem and it's getting worse. I could really use some prayers.
I can do anything through Jesus Christ who strengthens me. I have learned in whatever state I am in,to be content. Phillipians 4:11-13
34 years old. Diagnosed with lupus in 2000. Fibromyalgia, anti-phospholipid syndrome(APS)(stroke),Sjogren's, Raynaud's, seizure disorder-(miraclulously disappeared!), Libman Sach's Endocarditis, vasculitis, sacroiliitis, arthritis (neck) . Prednisone, Imuran, Coumadin, Clobazam, Amitriptyline, didrocal, Cozaar, calcium, Cykolokapron, multi-vitamin, vitamin D, Magnesium, vitamin B6, Acidophilus