Hey Lynnwood and Jennifer,
thank you for your input. stayed up all night last night because yesterday was such a good day, but I had been out in the Sun three times, and was afraid I would wake up sick today. Plaquinil must be working for me, and I am so glad. One day at a time I am going to try to face the facts of this disease, and do the best I can each day. Today is still a good day. minimal pain, relatively speaking. No weakness, or dizziness, or nausea. Tomorrow is not here yet, so not going to worry about it. Yesteray is a memory, tomorrow is a dream, today is all I have. and if I can keep these thoughts in my head, bad days will be expected and planned for, but I won't have to make my good days bad too, simply by worrying about the bad days yet to come. this is what I did last night. staying up all night to try to second guess Lupus. I let fear overrun my good judgement, and stayed up all night to prolong the good day.
I can't predict Lupus and what it will do to me and when. It is a power greater than I am. So I have decided to do the best that I can with the good days that I have, and to do my best in bad days too. Sometimes the house will not be as clean as I would like for it to be. Some days I will not be able to ride six or seven blocks to my Aunt Loucindy's house to see about her. but some days I will be able to do this. and the days I can't do it, I will lay on the couch or the bed, and watch forever tv.;)
Without support recieved on this list from all of you, I might never have arrived at this conclusion. It helps so much to be with others who have the same problem and symptoms that I have.