I think you've received some great advice above. What a great place this is to come and and share our burdens and our experience.
I am blessed with an incredibly understanding husband. This came gradually . . . but it developed consistently over the years.
Be very careful how YOU view yourself and your situation. It can be rather contagious if you give off negative vibes. Also, people don't, in general, enjoy being around a "victim". I really don't think that you have a "victim" mentality, but it would certainly be a common side affect of chronic illness. One can be incredibly ill and still give off the vibes of independence and high self esteem, which really help those around us have a positive attitude. Not to say that we need to pretend to be better off than we are . . . I hope this makes a bit of sense.
He also needs to know how important he is to you and he needs to know when he's doing things right. If he feels like he can't win, he will be unhappy.
The best bit of advice I even received regarding men is this: "Its not how the man feels about
the woman . . . its how he feels about
'himself' when he is with the woman" Ha ha !!! That little nougat will carry you a very long way.
I'm sorry you are in such a rough spot right now. Thanks for sharing . . . I have a feeling you are not alone.
In His Grip
AlwaysRosie "We can't control the waves, but we can learn how to surf!!"
Co-Moderator - Lupus Forum
UCTD, Inflammatory Arthritis, Diverticulosis, (recent dx - Sjogrens, Crohn’s 4/08)
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