I understand the drinking issue, as I've never drunk, and have spent years going out & about
with people who do. I basically just order what I want. Period. If they have a problem, it's theirs, as I don't care if they do or don't drink. I don't think justification, explanation, etc is needed for what I choose to drink (nor what they choose). If they must comment "This is what I prefer" with a nice pretty smile and a change of topic usually does the trick for me. If they must continue, I stick to my change in subject till they get over it!!! Of course, this is a practice that it's taken years to perfect.
As for being included when 'the work gang' goes out -- my group has done the same sort of thing with not doing explicit asking. If I sometimes feel up to it and want to go, I generally say "I'm feeling pretty good today, do you mind if I join you?" or something like that. Sometimes it's a little awkward, but if I don't worry so much about
what they think it's easier for me to enjoy myself....again, something it's taken a good while to learn.
I also keep a mental list of 4-6 people that I used to do a lot with, and try to make the effort to call at least 1 per week and catch up on the phone, even if I don't have the energy to go out. That way each person hears from me every 4-6 weeks, and remembers to invite me more often.
Just my thoughts, hope something will help or maybe spark an idea for you that creates something you feel comfortable doing. It's miserable being lonely on top of being ill!
Lynnwood, Co-Moderator: Lupus Forum
SLE(’00), Sjogren's Syndrome, Raynaud's Syndrome, SAD, Depression, Herpes Simplex 1
Piroxicam, Plaquenil, Prednisone(was 15mg, now 8mg),
Cellcept, Xanax, Trazodone, Boniva(3mth shot), Wellbrutrin SR, Valtrex
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