((((((((((( painful ))))))))))
It really is hard for some men to accept our disabilities. If you understand how a man differs from a woman, it will help you understand him. If a man can't "fix" it . . . he would rather deny the problem. It is a matter of control. Having said that, I'm not making excuses for him . . . its just helpful to understand it from his vantage point.
"The Spoon Theory" . . . which Stacie provided a link too . . . is a really helpful "word picture" for folks who can't understand. We have an invisible disease . . . so it really IS hard to understand. They see us grind through a day without realizing what extreme effort it takes for us to function. Then if we did yesterday, they have a hard time understanding why we can't do it today too.
I am really blessed, in that it was my dear husband who discovered that "pacing" my energy was really beneficial. If I have a busy day today, he discovered that resting tomorrow is important. We actually found that I can accomplish more (in the long run) when I follow the "activity, rest, activity, rest" routine.
Are you fitting in frequent rest? I know its tough to fit in . . . but its the best way to get more done.
I sure hope that printing "The Spoon Theory" is helpful to him. I would also make sure to acknowledge and thank him for everything he does right. Make sure he knows how much you appreciate all of his effort too.
One great way to compliment him . . . is to allow him to overhear you talking to someone else about
something you really appreciate. It will really affirm his efforts and encourage him to do more.
I hope you find lots of helpful info here at Healing Well.
Welcome to the forum!!
In His Grip
AlwaysRosie "We can't control the waves, but we can learn how to surf!!"
Co-Moderator - Lupus Forum
UCTD, Inflammatory Arthritis, Diverticulosis, (recent dx - Sjogrens, Crohn’s 4/08)
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