Living with a chronic disese is hard, I know, I can relate. Living with a disease like lupus which is an invisible disease and comes with many over lapping diseases is even harder because many times others, even our loved ones do not understand what we are going through. The fact that you have a husband that is understanding and supportive is wonderful, you really need to count your blessings. You might want to discuss the difficulties you are having with guilt with your doctor. I was having many of the same feelings when I had to stop working, I had a lot of guilt and stress because I had a really good job and while my husband makes a good living for us, I did not want to place all the burden on him. The guilt and stress I was placing on myself was actually making my disease worse. My rheumy told me I needed to let go of some of it because all the medicine in the word was not going to help if it didn't stop beating myself up. He prescribed me an antidepressant and anti-anxiety medicine, which I was extremely relucant to take. In my mind I was too strong of a person to take these medicines, I am an educated person, I should be able to overcome this, right? Wrong! I finally gave in, because with each passing day I was heading down hill, getting worse and worse and truly heading deeper in depression because of all the things I could no longer do.
The thing is, we need to focus on what we can do, and if these medicines give is more good days, then so be it. Please, talk to your doctor, if you need medicine to get your through this rough time and help you have better days please consider it. I still have bad days, but the good days are out weighing the bad and while I cannot do the things I used to my family and I have found new things we can do together and the fact that my attitude has improved and I am improving makes all the difference in the world. The fact that you can spend quality time together is what matters. Find quality things to do together that you both enjoy!
Best of luck to you. There is a bright side to this, you just need to discuss your options with you doctor and find that right solution for you.
Lupus - 1997 Fibro - 2001 Sjorens - 2007 Raynauds - 2008
Plaquenil, Imuran, Prednisone, Synthroid, Topomax, Effexor, Norco, Prilsec, Xanex, Elidel, Restasis