I can totally relate. I don't think I've left the house in over a week. Too cold and hurt too much. It makes me want to scream when I take 4-5 Lortabs (5mg) a day and still I ache all day and get sharp pains. One little outing to the grocery stre and I just want to go to sleep, but I have a 6 year old and 19 month old, both boys. I feel like I just want to quit, everytime I try to lay down, just put my feet up for a while, the baby is getting into the dog water, garbage, linen drawer, etc. He's always getting into things. I spend so much time chasing him around that my little 6 year old sometimes feels neglected. It breaks my heart because he is such a sweet boy. I keep telling myself that things will be easier when the kids are older and in school for most of the day, but sometimes it's just so hard when I'm so tired I just want to cry. DH is trying to help, but he works all day and the kids get used to Mommy doing it all that when Daddy tries, it's just not what they want. The baby has major sleeping issues. I have to hold him for an hour just to get him to sleep and then gently move him to the bed next to me. Yes, he sleeps in my bed. If I try to put him in the crib, he immediately wakes up and starts screaming. I'm way to exhausted to try to get him to sleep anywhere else even though I know I need to get him sleeping on his own. My husband and I have virtually no relationship left. When the kids are finally asleep, I'm off to bed myself. I've just had to accept that things are really hard right now, especially with the financial difficulties. Things will get better for you and for me. You and I have a lot of the same symptoms and meds. Don't take out your frustrations by rebelling against your meds. I know that I keep thinking maybe I don't need all this stuff, miss a day or two and really end up paying for it. When my kids are driving me crazing and I feel like I'm going to lose it, I try to stop and think how Blessed I am to have them in the first place. When I'm so tired I just want to cry, I move bedtime up a little. When I really feel stressed and stir crazy, I tell DH I need a break and leave him the kids and go thrift store shopping. It may wear me out a bit, but finding a great deal always makes me feel good. The biggest reason I have to keep going is that my kids need their mom. Know one can love them the way I do. Every morning I get up because my kids me need me. If it wasn't for them I think I'd lay in bed all day and probably feel even worse about
myself. On really bad days I try to get them to curl up with me on the bed and watch a movie, although the baby never sits still for long, it's great cuddle time that gives me a bit of a break. I know I've rambled and vented a bit here, but I just wanted to let you know I hear you and really relate. My thoughts and prayers are with you.
PCP pretty convinced- Lupus , Taking plaquenil,Propranolol, Flexeril,Claritin, Zantac,Ambien,vitamin B-12, multi- vitamin, Lortab. Mom of 2 boys 1 and 6. Symptoms: Fatigue, joint pain, heat/sun sensitivity, mouth and nose sores, malar rash, migranes, awful hives, positive ANA, and RF.