Hi! Butterflake and Everyone,
Yep, no argument here, lupus sucks! I am so glad you brought the "sex" word up, (I will whisper the next few lines). Sex, or lack thereof, is a big part of relationships. May I tactfully suggest that a partner might benefit from verbal, and/or non-verbal "encouragement" to meet their own sexual needs? Trying to get past the learned stigma of "self directed satisfaction" if you get my meaning, where too many of us learned at a toddler age that "touching yourself" is wrong, and the teenage years where "shame and guilt" often accompanied a cold shower. Where is Dr. Ruth when we need her? Sleep or Sex?...... too often it isn't even a choice. I am sometimes near tears with exhaustion, that goes way beyond mere tired, and I literally fall in bed. My husband moved into our spare bedroom for me. It was going to be just for one really bad night, now it's been two years and I miss him, but do sleep better. I am also grateful for our "chats" here, too.
ps. I just got one of those thick magic foam mattress toppers, and it really helped my hip pain.